« How To Drive Your Teen & Friends Around Town Without Mortifying Them | Main | How To Get Your Child Into Modeling and Then Navigate The Child Modeling Industry, With Your Sanity Still Intact »
How to Get Your Reluctant Child to Do Homework (without Yelling, Threats or a Double Martini)
Published 09.29.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (10)
By Christina of Fairly Odd Mother
1. Make Homework a Priority.
Set a time of the day aside for homework and don't stray (often). If homework is something your kids have to squeeze in between karate, piano lessons and soccer practice, they're not going to think of it as important. And, unless you really enjoy overdramatic tears and hearing every excuse in the book, avoid doing homework right before bedtime at all costs.
2. Eat Your Vegetables Before Dessert.
You need to use leverage to get some kids to do anything. Do they love television? Computer games? Guitar Hero? Unplug it all until homework is done. You can even exchange homework time for something they love: 15 minutes of effective homework time = 15 minutes with their beloved plugged-in whatnot.
3. Time It.
Time slams to a crawl for many kids when faced with a stack of papers and a #2 pencil. Set a timer for 15 minutes and, when it dings, tell your child to take a quick break to stretch, get a drink of water or collapse on the floor and moan "I hate doing homework" over and over again. Really active kids may need to run around the house before they get back to the books.
4. Sit Yourself On Down.
Doing homework can suck on its own. It's even worse when your child is hunched over the books alone thinking that the rest of the family is having a party in the other room. Sit with your child, review the work, encourage and help (but don't you dare do the homework yourself!). If you must get things done, at least park your child in the same room so you can answer questions as you make dinner, pay bills or Twitter.
5. Throw Them Out of the Nest to Fly, Baby, Fly.
There comes a time when kids have to accept that homework is their responsibility. So, if you're really tearing your hair out and aging prematurely due to the nightly fighting, it may be time to let your little bird fly on its own. Let your child go to school with an unfinished assignment and accept the consequences. Collaborating with the teacher ahead of time may insure an appropriate response to "the dog ate my homework".
- Follow Us!
Via RSS Feed- Via Email
- On Twitter
- On Facebook
- Recent Posts
- How to Prepare for Your Newborn's First Pediatrician's Appointment
- How To Care For Your Child's Teeth Like a Pro
- How To Navigate the Supermarket Like a Nutritionist
- How To Plan Parties with Guests who have Allergies
- How to Trick or Treat Safely
- Categories
- Ages
- Animals
- Beauty
- Books
- Caregiving
- College
- Food
- Health
- Holidays
- Home & Garden
- Money Matters
- New Mom
- Offbeat
- Organization
- Parties
- Photography
- Play
- Pregnancy
- Relationships
- Safety
- School
- Shopping
- Travel
- Contributors
- A Girl & A Boy
- Bessie.Viola
- Busy Mom
- Cool Mom Picks
- Chookooloonks
- Desperately Seeking Sanity
- Doobleh-vay
- Dutch Blitz
- Fairly Odd Mother
- Foodmomiac
- Gray Matter Matters
- Green Mom Finds
- Her Bad Mother
- Hola Isabel
- I Pretty Much Hate Everything
- Issas Crazy World
- Jennifer Graf Groneberg
- Justice Fergie
- Looky, Daddy!
- Mamalogues
- Meagan Francis
- Miss Britt
- Miss Zoot
- Motherhood Uncensored
- Notes To Self
- Nothing But Bonfires
- Oh My Stinkin' Heck
- Peppers and Pollywogs
- Rookie Moms
- Sarah Wagner Yost
- Suburban Turmoil
- Table4Five
- The Blythe Spirit
- The Fabulous Miss S
- The Naked Ledger
- Three Out of Seven
- To Think Is To Create
- Today's Moms
- Uppercase Woman
- Woulda Coulda Shoulda
- Write. Edit. Repeat.
- Archives
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
Most Popular
1) How To Fly with a Young Child
2) How To Be A Cool Twilight Mom
3) How to Deal with Your Mother-In-Law Talking Smack
4) How to Introduce Music to Your Child
5) How To Take Great Photos Of Your Kids
About this column
Could there really be a guide to everything? And, in 5 simple steps? Nope. But, there are definitely fun and simple ways to live life with your family.
The Alpha Mom Guide to Everything (in 5 simple steps) is a contribution-based column, reflecting the voices of parents and non-parents who love children. We will cover lots of topics in the initial months and will continue to be introducing more. You will find that our guide is easy to understand.
1- it's in 5 easy steps
2- it's subjective, but accurate
3- it's useful
We are looking for submissions, so if you're interested please contact us first at contact@alphamom.com. We already have a dozens in the queue ready to be launched over the next few months and don't want to duplicate efforts.
Disclaimer
This column is only for entertainment purposes. Any recommendations or information provided herein should not be used as a substitute for advice by a trained professional. For a full statement of our site policies, please click here.
Comments (10):
Shannon said:
Pretty good advice from a homeschooling Mama!
Posted on September 29, 2008 14:28
SuburbanCorrespondent said:
No, no, no - steps 1-4 makes homework your responsibility instead of theirs. Read Ending the Homework Hassle by John Rosemond and be set free! For instance, he advises against setting a time for homework. Instead, set only a finish-by time (say, half an hour before bedtime). Let them decide when to start. But never let them go beyond the finish time, even if it means they go to school with something not completed.
I was able to adapt all his advice to make homeschooling a lot more pleasant.
Posted on September 29, 2008 15:14
mrs. q. said:
Good stuff! I like #4. I can't imagine any kid that will sit still if you don't. I plan to save bill paying, letters, etc. so we can sit at the table and do our homework together.
Posted on September 29, 2008 15:20
Fairly Odd Mother said:
Hi Suburban Correspondent, I appreciate your comment, but, doesn't that assume that most kids will understand the importance of homework from the start? I stand by my thought that parents need to set up a "homework-friendly environment" for their kids. If a child is told to "do your homework before bedtime" but is then enrolled in sports, classes, etc until 7pm, it's very hard for them to see homework as anything but an afterthought.
I'm not saying the homework should be a parents' responsibility, but, like making sure my child eats well, gets enough sleep and brushes his teeth at bedtime, I think I need to oversee things and make sure they get done, especially when dealing with younger kids.
Once kids are a little older, I can see moving straight to #5, but from the get go? I respectfully disagree.
Posted on September 29, 2008 15:31
Issa said:
I love some of these tips, especially the timer one. Luckily mine go to a choice school, so homework isn't an every night fill in 20 worksheets thing, but when Maya does have it (and the read thirty minutes a night thing), it is a hassle. Since she has ADHD, I think this might be really helpful. Thanks.
Also wanted to say to Suburban Correspondent: As a parent, kids homework is our responsibility, at least in Elementary school. We are the ones who have to teach them what is important and what is expected of them. Just like I wouldn't give my kids free rein of sugar, TV or the wii, I won't just leave it up to them to do their homework.
Posted on September 29, 2008 16:15
Lee Dawson said:
OK - I'll bite regarding the point that a elementary school child's homework is the parent's responsibility, but what if absolutely nothing works at all, including any of the above ideas and hundreds more like it? Then what?
My child simply refuses to do her homework no matter what I do. She will be reduced to tears, and she will do anything else in the world before she will do her homework, under any circumstance.
I can literally think of nothing else she would rather not do than homework. It is that bad.
LD
Posted on May 7, 2009 22:20
crystal said:
Hi Lee my daughter is the same way, no its not bad I am relieved someone else has the same problem.
Posted on September 14, 2009 15:29
bm said:
I have a five year old who refused to do work at school today (this is his first week of any schooling), and the teacher gave me his papers to do at home. He started the work so i know hes capable. so after much frustration and arguing, i had removed his tv and toys from his room. Long story short, its hours later and no work is completed. I need some good advice and quick before i screw him up with ideas of homework = bad times and an angry dad.
Posted on September 18, 2009 17:23
Fairly Odd Mother said:
I apologize for not checking this thread earlier than now. . .I hope things have gotten better for Lee, Crystal and BM.
Here's the thing: I homeschool my kids, so of all the suggestions I posted, the only one I cannot do is #5, the one where you let the teacher deal with their refusal to do homework. So, I know REALLY well what it's like when your kids back you into a corner and refuse to do something you really want, or need, them to do.
I think you need to try to figure out what is going on---we have friends whose daughter "freezes" under pressure due to OCD. Is your child a super perfectionist who is under the impression that all mistakes are "wrong" or "bad"? Are they bored by the work b/c it's too easy?
As I've heard others say, you need to figure out their "currency"----maybe it's a sticker chart with some sort of reward at the end of the week. For my kids, it helps for them to see a pie chart that represents their time at home. Homework should take X% and play time can be the rest, but if they waste it all whining and stalling, there is no play time at all.
Or maybe if they are burnt out at the end of the day, put them to bed earlier and wake them up in the morning before school to do their work. Sounds harsh, but I'm totally burnt by afternoon, and I imagine some kids may be too.
I also think that Suburban Correspondent's book suggestion is worth checking out if you've tried everything else. As I said above, I do think it is our responsibility to insure our kids do the things they need to keep them healthy, safe and educated, but some kids do need less hand holding, not more pressure, and perhaps there will be useful suggestions in this book for you.
Posted on January 4, 2010 13:57
Amy said:
My son has the same problem, he will use every excuse saying he is tired or its to hard for him. He is 9 and its getting to the point that I dont know what else to do anymore.. I need help!
Posted on January 7, 2010 21:38