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How to Keep Your Kids From Killing Each Other
Published 10.08.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (4)
As a mom of four sons, I’ve experienced everything from knock-down drag out bar-scene brawls to more insidious forms of sibling rivalry. And even though a house with siblings will probably never be a model of peace and harmony, it is possible to keep your kids from killing each other.
1. Let them work it out.
Kids learn from their disagreements and compromising, so unless somebody is getting hurt or bullied, try to bite your tongue and stay out of it. Plus, the last thing you want to do is encourage endless tattling.
2. But don’t be afraid to step in when it’s warranted.
If the kids are unable to control their emotions, or it’s scaling up from simple arguing to violence or emotional bullying, it’s time to get involved.
3. Avoid jumping to conclusions.
If you didn’t see what actually happened, don’t try to guess. Some kids—even the quietest and littlest—can have a sneaky way of instigating fights while flying well under Mom and Dad’s radar. And jumping to conclusions about which one of your kids started a squabble or who is more at fault is a sure way to breed resentment and frustration, plus, it often unfairly lets the wrong kid off the hook.
4. Split ‘em up.
When nothing else is working, try keeping the squabblers apart for a while. In my experience, sometimes kids fighting a lot means they’re just spending too much time together, or are fighting to establish their own identities or get special attention from you.
5. Don’t reward rabble-rousing.
Sometimes kids pick on their brothers and sisters because they’re trying to get attention, even the negative kind. Don’t reward bad behavior with attention, but do make sure you spend time talking to each of your children when emotions aren’t running high. The conversations you have with your kids when they aren’t fighting can give you a lot of clues about what’s happening when they are.
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Comments (4):
Smalltowngirl said:
As I sit here and watch my 2 fight over who is going to pick up the Pokemon cards that are scattered all over the living room-- I really appreciate this post! :-) THANKS!
Posted on October 8, 2008 19:20
Sarah said:
I loved #3! Good word. But hard to enact sometimes...
Posted on October 9, 2008 14:58
Adventures In Babywearing said:
Hear hear! (pun intended) -my kids' favorites are Duffy, the Kooks, Feist, Joni, & of course Jack Johnson.
Steph
Posted on October 10, 2008 09:31
Victoria said:
With children it really does begin in the womb... I began with both of mine then, listening to a wide array of music... I cannot stand country, and I even did some of that. There has got to be something to this. When my first was about 5 she had to get stitches and they were playing a type of pop music stuff in the e.r., and she asked the doctor, "Couldn't you play some classical or jazz, so I can relax?". She has also been to National Honor Choir now 3 times... My little one, as proof of what you say repeatedly asks me to play "GREEN BUSH", which translates into Kate Bush! :)
Posted on October 11, 2008 08:07