Guide to Everythingtag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//212009-11-05T17:34:10ZMovable Type 3.33How To Care For Your Child's Teeth Like a Protag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.26442009-11-04T07:09:36Z2009-11-05T17:34:10ZWith Halloween just behind us you might have your kids' sugar consumption and dental care at top of mind. We have some surprising tips to help you keep your kids' teeth in tip-top shape.IsabelPhoto by gagilas
With Halloween just behind us you might have your kids' sugar consumption and dental care at top of mind. We spoke to Oral-B Stages dental expert Dr. Jennifer Salzer who shared some surprising tips to help you keep your kids' teeth in tip-top shape.
1) Don't let your baby go to sleep with a baby bottle.
A whopping 15% of kids have baby bottle cavities, received after going to bed with a baby bottle.
2) Be aware that cookies can be worse for teeth than candy.
We know, a shocker! While most parents think candy is the worst thing they can give their children for their teeth, in actuality, any foods that contains sugar or carbohydrates that can be broken down by the bacteria in a child's mouth can cause cavities. So, the cavity-causing problem can be foods like chips and crackers because they stay in kids' mouths longer. Yikes.
3) Ditch the sippy cups.
A sippy cup invites the sugar to stay on the mouth longer. Choose an open cup instead as kids don't suck on it and therefore it means less sugar on the lips.
4) Use fluoride wisely.
It's recommended that children should start using fluoridated toothpaste when they turn two. At first, smear the toothpaste on the brush. Once your child can spit efficiently, then you can use a pea-sized amount. Also, you can protect your child's teeth through a diet high in green leafy vegetables, which is a natural source of fluoride.
5) Look at the mirror.
The most important tool in oral health besides a toothbrush and toothpaste is a mirror. A child can remove a lot more plaque if looking and watching while brushing his teeth. ]]>
]]>
How To Navigate the Supermarket Like a Nutritionisttag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.26282009-10-28T05:46:40Z2009-10-29T09:39:13ZYou can't be expected to remember, so what are the some key points to remember as you navigate the supermarket aisles? We've got some easy-to-remember tips for you. Isabel
By Isabel Kallman, Founder of Alpha Mom
Photo by Nicholas_T
I was fortunate enough to get an in-depth supermarket tour with a naturopathic physician, with Keegan Sheridan who works in-house at Kashi* as their Natural Lifestyle Business Partner and helps them develop natural foods.
There are many guides to eating healthfully out there (including atAlpha Mom), but here are five easy-to-remember tips as you make your way down the supermarket aisle.
1) Buy a Rainbow
When you hit the fruits and vegetables, fill your cart with a rainbow; remember ROYGBIV? Red means there's lycopene in your produce (found in tomatoes and other red fruits & vegetables, such as red carrots, watermelons and papayas) which is an antioxidant. Orange represents the beta carotene found in many fruits and vegetables. Yellow and Green stands for lutein which is an antioxidant and decreases the risk of eye diseases. Blue, Indigo and Violet (or purple) means anthocyanin is present. Plants rich in anthocyanins are the dark berries, eggplant peel, grapes and cabbage. Anthocyanins are also antioxidants and are excellent for cognitive and brain health.
2) Know the Dirty Dozen
Sometimes organic is not available or you need to make practical budgetary decisions. That's when you should refer to the Environmental Working Group's"Dirty Dozen" List so that you'll know which produce needs to be bought organic (and without pesticides), and which conventionally-grown fruits and vegetables are okay if you just can't buy organic this time 'round. There's a downloadable guide and even an iPhone app. But in case you don't have the list on you, the general rule of thumb is that thin-skinned produce should be your organic choices.
3) Flash Frozen is Equal to Fresh
When produce is not in season, don't forget the frozen aisle. Flash frozen fruits and vegetables are EQUAL to fresh produce in terms of nutrition. So bypass the canned produce and go straight to the frozen food aisle.
4) HFCS is a marker for other artificial preservatives.
High Fructose Corn Syrup (HCFS) is a highly processed sugar substitute and therefore a marker that the food has other concerning preservatives, like BHT which is artificial and sprayed into packaging. Instead nutritionists recommend looking for "mixed tocopherals" which is Vitamin E. Also, there is no reason ever to buy a product with "transfats," which is a preservative used to extend shelf life.
5) Watch Out for Sodium
When buying frozen meals look at the sodium levels very carefully. The recommended intake per day of sodium is 2400mg or just one teaspoon, which is easy to exceed. The average person consumes two to four teaspoons per day. If you're going to count something, track your intake of sodium.
* I participated in a blogger trip to visit Kashi HQs. They paid for my trip, including travel, lodging, activities and provided me with products. It was a blast and I continue to love their all natural foods!]]>
]]>
How To Plan Parties with Guests who have Allergiestag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.25732009-09-30T11:50:24Z2009-10-01T08:11:44ZOne of the easiest party menus to put together includes PB&J sandwiches cut into shapes that match your party theme. But it's not always the best given the prevalence of peanut and other other allergies. Here are a few easy tips to keep in mind.Isabel
By Lisa Kothari of Peppers and Pollywogs
One of the easiest party menus to put together includes PB&J sandwiches cut into shapes that match your party theme. However, more and more these days, parents are wondering if it is okay to serve peanut butter with so many children having allergies to not only peanut butter but also to many other foods and ingredients that you may not be aware of.
Use these top tips to find out how to handle guests that have allergies and will attend your upcoming party:
1. Use the RSVP phone call to find out.
It’s difficult to know if anyone has allergies without asking. Use the RSVP phone call as the time to ask this important question. It’s the perfect time and also the one chance to connect with all guests’ parents before the party happens.
2. Make sure to understand the severity of the allergy.
In addition to finding out if kids have allergies, make sure to ask about the severity to coordinate. As an example, can the child be in the same room as peanuts are being served?
3. Adjust your party menu.
Of course, think through if there are multiple kids allergic to the same ingredient or menu item. If so, you may want to change it altogether, but if only one child has a particular allergy, you may want to maintain your original menu and plan something different for the one child.
4. Suggest guests bring their own food.
If there are children that have allergies to basic ingredients, such as flour, you may want to suggest that these guests bring their own food to eat to completely avoid the possibility of eating something harmful. (Editor: or look into gluten-free options which are increasingly becoming ubiquitous.)
5. Everyone eats together
However you plan it, make sure to feed all of the guests at the same time so that the children with allergies do not feel left out or awkward during the party meal.
By checking in with your parents’ guests before the party, you will be able to plan a party menu that is inclusive of everyone and that takes in account special allergy circumstances.
Photo from Jeeto's Allergy Clothing Collection.
]]>
]]>
How to Trick or Treat Safelytag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.25582009-09-23T15:42:34Z2009-10-10T08:02:22ZIt's never too early to start thinking about Hallloween safety. Isabel
By Lisa Kothari of Peppers and PollywogsPhoto by ginnerobot
We're starting to think Halloween over here. It’s a spooktacular time of year; especially if you keep the following top tips in mind to keep your kids safe this season.
Here are the tips to keep Halloween night safe for your trick or treaters:
1. Adults should be involved.
Make sure to accompany young children on the evening of trick or treat or, if your children are heading out in a group, make sure that there are enough designated adults to chaperone all of the kids.
2. Include contact info
Either on a bracelet the children wear or tucked into their costumes, write out their emergency contact information in case someone is lost.
3. Invest in safety supplies
Send the kids out with flashlights and/or glow sticks so they can easily see where they are headed. Make sure that the chaperone has extra batteries on hand in case they are needed.
4. Be reflective
Add reflective tape to your kids’ costumes and treat bags so they will be even more visible during their evening outing to traffic and others.
5. Avoid masks
Consider having your kids dress up their faces with make-up rather than masks so their own line of vision is not limited during the trick or treat outing. It may make staying close to the group, staying on the sidewalks, and crossing roads safely a problem otherwise.
Are we missing anything here?
]]>
]]>
How To Recognize that Your Child has an Allergy, and not a Coldtag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.25362009-09-09T17:42:45Z2009-10-29T10:34:42ZFor a long time after my son's first achoo, I was always confused as to whether the culprit was a cold or an allergy. Many symptoms between the two (like are the same runny nose, itchy eyes and a cough). Now, I'm prepared to know the difference. Isabel
By Isabel Kallman, founder of Alpha Mom
For a long time after my son's first achoo, I was always confused as to whether the culprit was a cold or an allergy. Many symptoms between the two (like are the same runny nose, itchy eyes and a cough). Now that we are in back-to-school mode, knowing the difference is even more important as colds require kids stay home. Also, allergies can be managed under the care of a doctor and with easy steps taken at home to reduce allergens; this all meaning less days missed from school.
I was able to interview Dr. Paul Ehrlich, author of What Your Doctor May Not tell You About Children's Allergies and Asthma about this topic at an event sponsored by Swiffer focused on allergen reduction. Dr. Ehrlich tipped me off to what to look for.
1) Duration of Episode.
Fortunately colds only last for around five days. Airborne allergic reactions last around six weeks.
2) Look for easy-to-miss and tell-tale signs.
Look for the following symptoms: Restless sleep is a surprising one. The 'allergic salute' is my favorite; it's when your child cleans his nose with the palm of his hand outward in a saluting motion. Allergic shiners or dark circles under the eyes. Watery and itchy eyes. A runny nose and a persistent cough.
3) The nose tells all.
Look inside at the mucous membrane of the nose. If the area is thick and red, then it's likely an infection and a cold. If the area is pale, then it's an allergy. Also if the nose looks like a faucet and is continuously runny, then it's allergies.
4) It runs in the family.
Yes, airborne allergies are genetic. If one parent has it, then the chances are 2 in 10 that the child will have the allergy as well. If two parents suffer from allergies, then the chance rises to 7 in 10.
5) Indoors is worse than outdoors.
If your child's symptoms flare up more when indoors, than when outside, then allergens could be the culprit. Yes, indoors has a lot more airborne allergens than outdoors. Dust mites are the source of a great deal of allergy sufferings. The good news is that your child can be tested for an allergy to dust mites and easy measures can be taken at home to reduce these tiny allergens and make the air cleaner (pillow & mattress cases, HEPA air filter, vigilant dusting). ]]>
]]>
How To Get Into the Back-to-School Swingtag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.24812009-08-05T05:19:22Z2009-08-06T06:52:45ZWhere did the summer go? Some children are going back to school within the next two weeks. Aaaaaaiiiiieeeee. After you have gotten over that shock, read along to start preparing you and your family for the new school year. Isabel
By Isabel Kallman, founder of Alpha Mom
Photo by loop_oh
The pediatric experts at Seattle Children’s Hospital helped me put together five steps to ensuring a healthy and safe start to the new school year.
“Back to school is understandably an anxious time for parents and children alike,” says pediatrician Dr. Ben Danielson at Odessa Brown Children’s Clinic in Seattle. "By taking a few easy steps, parent's can remove the stress associated with back-to-school and rest assured that their children are well prepared for a healthy and productive year ahead."
1- Make sure your child gets enough sleep BEFORE school starts
Start getting your child to bed at a set time a week or two before school starts. I start getting my son to bed 15 minutes earlier each night until we’re back to our regular school-night bedtime. Remember that 6-to-9 year-olds need 10 hours, preteens need 9 hours, and teens need about 8 to 9 1/2 hours of sleep each night.
2- Make a Health List and check it twice
Get your ducks in a row now. Make sure your child’s immunizations are current. Ensure that you and the school are on the same page regarding medicine for your kids (whether they administer it themselves or not). Find out the school's rules about medicine for kids old enough to handle monitoring and treatment at school. And,if your child is too young to self-administer, find out who handles medicines at the school and ensure they are familiar with your child’s needs. Schools like to have medicines in their original packaging, including the pharmacist’s instructions, so get an extra set and deliver it to the school personally.
3- Be prepared to handle curve balls
Work on a plan for how to deal with illness during the school year – sick children should stay home to prevent the spread of illness to others. If you and your partner work out of the home, do you have family, friends or caregivers whom can be called upon on short notice?
4- Have a trial run for the older kids who will be staying home alone after school
Having been a young latch-key kid of the 1970s, I can personally attest to the importance of creating a comfortable and safe-environment for your child if he or she is about 11 or older and will be spending time alone at home after school. Develop ground rules for your child to follow. Rules to think about setting: whether friends are allowed over, cooking rules, TV and computer rules, answering the door and phone, etc. I can’t recall if my own mother did this, but I think giving you’re a child a chance to practice being home alone before the school year starts is brilliant. (Thanks again, Seattle Children’s Hospital)
5- End the school day on a positive note
Young children especially get anxious about who will be picking them up at school or will someone be home to receive them when they get off the bus. As such, figure out your child's transportation plan and before- and after-school care (if needed) and make sure you explain the plan to your child before the school day begins. Repeating the schedule will be comforting. We love Seattle Children’s Hospital’s idea to arrange your calendar so you can spend extra time with your child the first week of school; transitions can be hard and just being together in the evenings can help.
]]>
]]>
How to Talk to Your Tween Daughter About Sextag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.24432009-07-15T07:08:09Z2009-07-16T14:16:08ZThere's no need to dread The Talk. We've got some advice, but would love to hear your pearls of been-there-done-that wisdom.Isabel
By Allison Czarnecki of Petit Elefant1.Wait until your daughter finds a sex book under your bed.It's not actually a very productive way to go about it, but when your 9-year-old daughter finds a 500-page illustrated "Sex Bible" under your bed, don't hide in the bathroom wishing the floor to open up and swallow you whole, bite the bullet ask what she thinks a sex book might be all about. And when your husband starts explaining that "even mommy and daddy need a book to keep the home fires burning" keep a straight face and follow through with the barrage of questions that are guaranteed to ensue. 2. Follow the cues.When your daughter asks you over breakfast "why were you and daddy taking a bubble bath in in the dark last night?" you might want to check out a book from the library. Keep in mind though, less is more when it comes to kids. Now is not the time to get into oral sex or any of the particulars. Don't be dishonest, but answer in a really simple way. If they want to know more, they'll {most likely} ask more. If they need to stew on it for a couple of days, that's fine too, just let them know you'll answer questions any time they have them.3. Keep it short.Respond to the questions with pretty basic answers. Think: short and sweet. Basic Jr. High Bio ought to suffice. "You know how there are lots of baby animals in the Spring? It's because the animals mate so they won't become extinct. Humans mate too." Maybe take a field-trip to the zoo to get a few basic ideas. Springboard off a personal experience, like a pregnant friend or family member. I try to keep it simple with my daughter, I want to wait before I get into the tricky stuff, but if she asks, I'll keep it short, like: step 1, step 2, repeat.4. Be honest.You don't want to open up the dialogue with your kid, only to have her find out you were fibbing, or giving info just shy of the truth. Use the proper names for body parts and try to keep a straight face when you tell them what goes where. They'll follow your cues. If you're embarrassed to talk about it, they'll be embarrassed to ask you, but I guarantee they'll get the information somewhere. Like a 9-year-old sleepover full of giggly girls sharing tidbits learned from movies and eavesdropped parental conversations.5. Be prepared.I was caught completely flat-footed when my daughter asked about the sex book. You've gotta watch your back with kids, they're pretty smart that way. Think about it ahead of time so if you get inundated with questions you'll know how you want to respond. If they get to a certain age and haven't started asking, it might be time to go out for ice cream or a long long drive in the minivan. That way you won't have to look at her little innocent face while you're sweating the details.]]>
]]>
How to Host a Rainy Birthday Partytag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.24302009-07-08T04:40:52Z2009-07-09T14:56:12ZHow's it been in your neck of the woods? For us, June felt like April with all the rain showers. Summer birthdays are supposed to mean outdoor parties. But what do you do if it rains?IsabelBy Lisa Kothari of Peppers and PollywogsPhoto by John-Morgan
During summer when you plan an outdoor party for children you would think you’d be safe from the rain. Often though, thunderstorms and rain showers come out of nowhere-- especially with the heat-- and leaves you with disappointed kids. No matter the weather forecast, always have a backup plan for your outdoor party to avoid those frowns.
1. Plan activities that you can do both indoors and outdoors.
Typical outdoor birthday activities include: scavenger hunts, relay races, and messy crafts. Try to design these activities so they can be done in both places, e.g. hold the scavenger hunt around the inside of your home, hold relay races in your basement, and create the messy masterpieces in your garage.
2. Have a back-up plan of games and activities for being indoors.
If the outdoor birthday activities will not translate and work in your home, create a plan for alternate indoor activities. A simple list of classic games that can be done inside will go a long way to not worrying about the rain.
3. Often your menu at an outdoor birthday party is all around the BBQ.
Keep your original menu, but when you move it indoors, have the kids help make up the burgers and add their own fix’ns as a way to spend time and have fun creating their outdoor meal, indoors!
4. If not thundering and lightening, hand out rain ponchos and use the rain to your advantage.
This will surprise them! A little rain won’t hurt anyone, but watch the conditions carefully and if someone doesn’t want to go outdoors, that’s OK too.
5. In case of rain, create a back-up date.
If your party is all about being outdoors and will be ruined if it rains, then include a rain back-up date on your birthday party invitation and have a list of guests’ phone numbers to call and immediately change the date when you make this decision.
Lisa Kothari is the founder and president of Peppers and Pollywogs, a kids' party planning company that provides parents with ideas, entertainers, and interesting web-based tools (customized rhymes and cards for your invitations!) to make kids' party planning easy.
More Birthday Party Articles for you:
- Five Great Backyard Birthday Party Themes
- Inspiring Ideas For Kid's Birthdays
- The Best DIY Birthday Cakes
- Birthday Party Decorations
- Ideas for Birthday Party Games & Fun
- Birthday Accoutrements (you know, accessories!)
- Best Birthday Party Favors: Less Is More And Consumable Is Even Better
- Great Children's Birthday Traditions
- Birthday Parties for the Sensory-Sensitive Child
- Gifts For One-Year-Olds & Other People Who Would Rather Just Eat Wrapping Paper]]>
]]>
How To Deal With A Talkative Child Before You’ve Had Caffeinetag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.23862009-06-17T07:02:19Z2009-06-18T14:27:23ZYes, we all love our kids. But, for some us, being awoken by a chatty kid is akin to being awoken by a colicky baby. We've got some practical advice for you until you are bright and bushy-tailed. Isabel
By Cecily Kellog of Uppercase Woman1. Make your partner do it.
If your schedule allows, alternate with your partner who gets up with the kid. That way at least half of the week you will have an opportunity to stretch, brush your teeth, and maybe sneak in a cup of coffee before you have to engage with your super chatty kid. Or if you’re like me, you stay in bed just a bit longer so by the time you face your child, said child has wound down a bit.
2. Stay in bed.
If your child is either in a crib or safe in his or her room, stay in bed until that first burst of chipper, happy observation of everything has passed. That way, the stuffed animals nearby will get the bulk of the morning monologue, and you can slowly wake up in the other room while listening to the happy murmur. Once the talking begins to slow down a bit, only then head on in to the kid’s room and get the day started.
3. Use Ear Plugs.
If you are like me and have a husband that snores loudly enough to wake the dead, you might also wear earplugs. When it’s my turn to get up with the kiddo, I often leave the earplugs in and just nod my head and smile while she lights into her litany of what animal slept with her and what color the walls are and why, yes, that IS Hello Kitty on her pajamas. Once we get downstairs, I take them out, and start in on the caffeine.
4. Quit caffeine.
If you aren’t addicted to caffeine, you wake up more alert and with your tush firmly attached to your body, not dragging behind you in your wake. Ha! Who am I kidding? What a silly idea.
5. Grin and bear it.
I wish I had better advice, but some days, you just have to tolerate it. Little kids brains grow at the astonishing rate of 250,000 cells a minute and part of that growth involves their language centers. When they wake up in the morning, they’ve usually had a lovely ten to twelve hours of sleep, and so naturally they feel quite well rested and happy and eager to share their joy with the world. Sadly, we adults count ourselves lucky to get six hours of sleep a night and, you know, we’re OLD, so our brains don’t have that same lovely flare of happy energy first thing in the morning. So, the only way to deal with it is just enjoy it while the coffee brews.
]]>
]]>
How To Tell Your Friends and Family You’re Infertile (And Then Cope With The Fallout)tag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.23712009-06-10T07:49:54Z2009-06-11T14:42:27ZIf you publicly admit to trying to start your family, and then have trouble conceiving, it’s good to have a plan to cope with the questions you’ll get afterwards. Particularly the stupid questions that are headed your way.Isabel
By Cecily Kellog of Uppercase Woman
Once you’re in a solid long-term marriage or relationship, there are going to be people who ask, “When are you going to start a family?” It’s unavoidable. If you publicly admit to trying to start your family, and then have trouble conceiving, it’s good to have a plan to cope with the questions you’ll get afterwards.
1. Just tell the truth.
It might seem easier to keep your struggle to start a family to yourself, but it can be an exhausting, emotionally draining time in your life and it’s really best to have the love and support of your friends and family while you go through it. You can limit those to whom you tell the truth, but it is absolutely critical that you have someone out there to whom you can turn on those dark days when the pregnancy test is negative yet again. Choose wisely, but be prepared: there is a lot of misinformation out there, and some questions you get might seem hostile.
2. Simplify the facts.
If people ask WHY you are having trouble (and you want to tell them), create a short, yet sweet answer that explains it quickly and doesn’t leave a lot of room for questions you don’t want to answer. If you want to make people stop asking about details, a great way to do that is to mention body parts that people don’t want to hear about, such as, “Well, my uterus is malformed” or “My semen contains a sperm-killing antibody” or “My cervical mucous is hostile.” See? They’re walking away now, aren’t they? Nothing kills off nosy people like talk of cervical mucous.
3. Be prepared for The Stupid, because The Stupid is coming.
You’re going to get a TON of stupid advice, ranging from “Just relax!” (which totally works when you have a diminished egg reserve or it turns out your husband has a zero sperm count) to “Quit trying so hard, it will happen in God’s time!” Have a plan for how to cope with this stupidity, other than smashing the question-asker in the head with a nearby object. You can either carry charts and graphs and overwhelm that person into silence with scientific information, or just practice smiling and saying, “What a great idea!” over and over to your mirror at home.
4. Prepare Your Adoption Argument.
People are going to ask, “Why don’t you just adopt?” This question is loaded: it intimates that you are being selfish to want your own biological progeny. Sometimes you can use financial arguments; it is, in fact, far less expensive to pursue infertility treatments than adoption, particularly domestic adoption. But, the best way to respond to this question is to avoid it with some vague response like, “That’s always an option.” Then there are also the folks that say, “My co-worker’s cousin adopted and got pregnant right away!” as if adopted children are the ultimate fertility drug. Just ignore these people. There’s no reasoning with them.
5. Make New Friends Who Understand.
The good news is you are not alone when struggling with infertility. There are thousands of us out here, all struggling along with you. Find them. Find them through your infertility clinic’s support groups, find them on the Internet on message boards and in blogs, but find them. The best person to help you through the darkest times of fertility struggles is another infertile person.
]]>
]]>
5 Steps to Arming your Child with Street Smartstag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.23372009-05-29T15:27:50Z2009-10-29T11:05:46ZBasic and invaluable advice for parents on kids' personal safety.Isabel
By Robin Sax
1. Teach young children your cell phone number to the tune of a song.
A 2-year old can sing 26 letters in a row, so she can probably master ten digits.
2. Make sure young children know the real anatomical names of their body parts.
Even if you use a nickname sometimes. The reason for this is that a child babbling in the backseat of a car that her best friend’s 14-year old brother put his cell phone up to her “nu-nu” might not get your attention. I can bet as soon as she says the word “vagina” your ears will prick up.
3. Instill in your child a sense that her body is her own.
They can say, “Don’t touch me there” or “I don’t like that.”
4. Make a plan for getting lost or separated.
Young children should be coached to look for another mommy to ask for help. (A mommy is a woman who has a child with her.) Older children should find a helping person such as a security guard or someone in a uniform, and big kids can navigate to a pre-discussed meeting place.
5. Ask your child to tell you if someone asks them to keep a secret.
Explain to older kids that responsible adults do not ask kids to keep secrets for them. Assure them that they will not get in trouble for telling another adult’s secret to Mom or Dad.
Robin Sax is a District Attorney who specializes in sex crimes against children. Her new book Predators and Child Molesters: What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe answers the 100 most asked questions about this topic, including how to talk about it with children. It is available on Amazon.com.
]]>
]]>
How to Tell the Difference between a Reward and a Bribetag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.23312009-05-27T06:47:10Z2009-05-28T14:23:09ZWhen parenting, although it may seem like rewards and bribes are identical twins there are ways to tell the difference, and it’s an important distinction.Isabel
By Betsy Cadel of Gray Matter Matters
When parenting, although it may seem like rewards and bribes are identical twins there are ways to tell the difference, and it’s an important distinction.
1. Rewards are earned for good behavior, bribes are offered to avoid or stop bad behavior.
Regardless of the size of the incentive (from an ice cream cone to an iPod) if it’s offered to encourage behavior that you’d like to see as part of your child’s character, like studying hard, or being a good pet owner, those are rewards. If the same offer is made for not doing certain things, like not throwing a tantrum or not being rude to a grandparent then it is a bribe.
2. Rewards can be surprises, bribes are overt.
A surprise trip to the gift shop before you leave a museum for good behavior during a visit is a reward. An unplanned stop at the gift shop to put an end to moping or whining is a bribe.
3. How do you feel when making the offer?
If it’s desperation then it’s a bribe.
4. Rewards make your child proud, bribes make your child powerful.
Rewards are not negotiated. They are your decision. So when you say “If you keep your room clean then…” it’s a reward. If a child says “If I clean my room then I want…” it’s a bribe. What your child is doing is extorting compensation for something they should do in the first place.
5. Rewards are a good parenting tool, bribes are not.
Once you start down the path of bribing then it will be hard to break the cycle. Children very quickly will come to expect a “this for that” arrangement. You will forever be finding yourself at the bargaining table whereas even as adults we are motivated by rewards in the form of promotions, raises and the pride that comes with a job well done. ]]>
]]>
How to Host a Clothing Swaptag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.23162009-05-20T13:31:08Z2009-05-21T14:52:20ZInvite your most stylish friends and acquaintances for a two-hour swapping party at your place. We have a step-by-step guide just for you. Fun!Isabel
By Whitney Moss of Rookie Moms1. Set the date
Invite your most stylish friends and acquaintances for a two-hour swapping party at your place. Let them know what they should bring (good stuff only!) “DO bring that cute dress that you bought for your cousin’s wedding that got cancelled. DO NOT bring your Connecticut College t-shirt collection.” Make sure daddy and any crawling/walking children agree to clear out during your soiree.
2. Pick, clean and fold your garments for the swap.
Set aside a good hour and purge your closet of stuff you don’t wear. Be brutal. If you’re feeling those pesky postpartum body issues, get a good friend to help. (Do your marriage the small favor of not asking your husband if your “butt looks big in this”!)
3. Prep your party space.
Have a full-length mirror handy. If you have room to “merchandise” your stuff, it is more fun for your guests to “shop”. Label the piles by category of clothing are so that guests can sort their offerings (pants 8 and under; pants 8 and over; sexy tops; work dresses…) Save a few blank labels available for the day of. A portable closet rod is a worthwhile investment for your party. It allows you to hang skirts and dresses so that you can all browse them like it’s your own personal second-hand store.
4. Invigorate your wardrobe on the cheap.
Tidy up your house, wear cute underwear, set out some snacks, and wait for everyone to bring you new clothes! We usually begin by browsing the piles casually and trying on the clear winners. After that, the claws come out: once you try on a cute spangly dress, it is fair game for someone else to have a go at it. Let your friends decide who really looks best in it.
5. Donate the rest.
There will be bags and bags of leftovers that no one wants. Get someone to help you load the car and then take the bags directly to a donation center. This is a good thing. We wouldn’t want to maintain the same collective level of closet clutter. Purge and be happy.]]>
]]>
5 Family Financial Planning Essentialstag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.22542009-04-22T17:03:01Z2009-04-23T14:52:14ZHow to make sure you are covered in every area. Now that tax season is over, come see how well you are doing and where you need to step it up!Amanda
By Amanda of mandajuice and The Naked Ledger.
Does your family have "a plan?" How to make sure you are covered on the five financial family planning essentials.
1. A Budget
Everyone hates budgeting - I know I do - but no good financial plan is complete without a clear spending plan. By sticking to a budget, you make it a lot easier to achieve the rest of your goals.
2. A Retirement Plan
Is that company 401(k) plan enough? (hint: probably not!) Retirement is probably the most important part of any financial plan because if you don’t self-fund it? No one else is going to step in and do it for you. The best gift you can give your children is your own financial independence.
3. A Contingency Plan
Do you have life insurance? Health insurance? Disability? Do you have a will? A trust? Medical directives? Durable powers of attorney? A full-fledged estate plan? You might not need all of it, but it’s all worth thinking about. Consult a financial planner or an estate attorney if necessary.
4. An Education Plan
More important than an actual SAVINGS plan is a plan for exactly how much of your family’s resources you’re willing to put toward education. Don’t rob Peter to pay Paul! If there isn’t a higher-education education plan in place, you risk robbing the other facets of your financial health. Know ahead of time EXACTLY how much you plan to fund and stick to that plan.
5. A Fun Plan
It’s great to save for retirement and college and overall financial health, but it’s never going to be worth it if you don’t also pay yourself back with truly rewarding experiences. Make sure you fund a plan to make memories and fulfill life-long dreams. You want to backpack through China? Buy your grandpa’s old farmhouse? Restore a ’66 Mustang? Live in Argentina for a year? Put it in your plan! It may take you a while to get there, but having a FUN goal makes the rest of the work worthwhile. ]]>
]]>
How to Buy Life Insurance for Your Familytag:www.alphamom.com,2009:/guide-to-everything//21.22432009-04-15T15:43:41Z2009-04-16T14:10:26ZLife insurance is no one’s favorite subject, but no family financial plan is complete without it.Amanda
By Amanda of mandajuice and The Naked Ledger.
Life insurance is no one’s favorite subject, but no family financial plan is complete without it.
1. Figure out how much you need.
Life insurance serves one single purpose: to replace the income of someone who dies OR to replace the value of the work done by an unemployed spouse (like a stay-at-home parent). There are excellent life insurance needs calculators all at the tip of your google-finger. I like the one here at Lifehappens.org, but definitely try more than one to be sure your results are accurate. As much as I hate having to even think about it or mention it, I never recommend life insurance be purchased on children. Unless your child is the next Tiger Woods, what income would you be replacing?
2. Figure out how much you already have.
Does your employer offer your family life insurance? If they do, most companies will give you either $50,000 or one year’s salary, but double check your employee handbook to be sure. Also remember that most people get sick before they die and if you aren’t an "employee", these policies are moot. Also add up any other policies you’ve purchased. While you’re at it, double-check the beneficiaries on your policies. The last thing you need is a surprise. (Like one client – the one with four kids under five years old – died and left his million dollar life insurance policy to his single, child-free EX-wife).
3. Buy term life insurance.
"Whole life insurance" is basically just a life insurance policy bundled with an investment product. The problem is that the bundling itself is ridiculously expensive and some of the highest, most obscene commissions and fees can be found in Whole Life policies. Not to mention that every policy is different, which makes it almost impossible to compare such products against one another. My advice is to buy your insurance AS INSURANCE (term life) and your investments AS INVESTMENTS (personally I like no-load index-based mutual funds). This means "term life insurance" is the only way to go. It’s cheaper, easier and you can buy it directly without having to pay a middle party.
4. Start shopping
Again, start googling and comparing prices at places like www.wholesaleinsurance.net and www.intelliquote.com . Request an application from the top-ranked company with the lowest price. (These sites will rank the companies for you.)
5. Be honest
Never lie on an insurance application, not even about your weight. First of all, they’re going to send a representative out to your house to take some blood, check your vitals and WEIGH you (they actually bring their own scale!), so almost any lie is going to be revealed in those tests and would be a waste of your time. And lying on an application can often nullify your policy and may even get you stuck in litigation, so beware.
]]>
]]>
Photo by Nicholas_T
I was fortunate enough to get an in-depth supermarket tour with a naturopathic physician, with Keegan Sheridan who works in-house at Kashi* as their Natural Lifestyle Business Partner and helps them develop natural foods.
There are many guides to eating healthfully out there (including at Alpha Mom), but here are five easy-to-remember tips as you make your way down the supermarket aisle.
1) Buy a Rainbow
When you hit the fruits and vegetables, fill your cart with a rainbow; remember ROYGBIV? Red means there's lycopene in your produce (found in tomatoes and other red fruits & vegetables, such as red carrots, watermelons and papayas) which is an antioxidant. Orange represents the beta carotene found in many fruits and vegetables. Yellow and Green stands for lutein which is an antioxidant and decreases the risk of eye diseases. Blue, Indigo and Violet (or purple) means anthocyanin is present. Plants rich in anthocyanins are the dark berries, eggplant peel, grapes and cabbage. Anthocyanins are also antioxidants and are excellent for cognitive and brain health.
2) Know the Dirty Dozen
Sometimes organic is not available or you need to make practical budgetary decisions. That's when you should refer to the Environmental Working Group's "Dirty Dozen" List so that you'll know which produce needs to be bought organic (and without pesticides), and which conventionally-grown fruits and vegetables are okay if you just can't buy organic this time 'round. There's a downloadable guide and even an iPhone app. But in case you don't have the list on you, the general rule of thumb is that thin-skinned produce should be your organic choices.
3) Flash Frozen is Equal to Fresh
When produce is not in season, don't forget the frozen aisle. Flash frozen fruits and vegetables are EQUAL to fresh produce in terms of nutrition. So bypass the canned produce and go straight to the frozen food aisle.
4) HFCS is a marker for other artificial preservatives.
High Fructose Corn Syrup (HCFS) is a highly processed sugar substitute and therefore a marker that the food has other concerning preservatives, like BHT which is artificial and sprayed into packaging. Instead nutritionists recommend looking for "mixed tocopherals" which is Vitamin E. Also, there is no reason ever to buy a product with "transfats," which is a preservative used to extend shelf life.
5) Watch Out for Sodium
When buying frozen meals look at the sodium levels very carefully. The recommended intake per day of sodium is 2400mg or just one teaspoon, which is easy to exceed. The average person consumes two to four teaspoons per day. If you're going to count something, track your intake of sodium.
* I participated in a blogger trip to visit Kashi HQs. They paid for my trip, including travel, lodging, activities and provided me with products. It was a blast and I continue to love their all natural foods!]]>
]]>
Photo by ginnerobot
We're starting to think Halloween over here. It’s a spooktacular time of year; especially if you keep the following top tips in mind to keep your kids safe this season.
Here are the tips to keep Halloween night safe for your trick or treaters:
1. Adults should be involved.
Make sure to accompany young children on the evening of trick or treat or, if your children are heading out in a group, make sure that there are enough designated adults to chaperone all of the kids.
2. Include contact info
Either on a bracelet the children wear or tucked into their costumes, write out their emergency contact information in case someone is lost.
3. Invest in safety supplies
Send the kids out with flashlights and/or glow sticks so they can easily see where they are headed. Make sure that the chaperone has extra batteries on hand in case they are needed.
4. Be reflective
Add reflective tape to your kids’ costumes and treat bags so they will be even more visible during their evening outing to traffic and others.
5. Avoid masks
Consider having your kids dress up their faces with make-up rather than masks so their own line of vision is not limited during the trick or treat outing. It may make staying close to the group, staying on the sidewalks, and crossing roads safely a problem otherwise.
Are we missing anything here?
Photo by loop_oh
The pediatric experts at Seattle Children’s Hospital helped me put together five steps to ensuring a healthy and safe start to the new school year.
“Back to school is understandably an anxious time for parents and children alike,” says pediatrician Dr. Ben Danielson at Odessa Brown Children’s Clinic in Seattle. "By taking a few easy steps, parent's can remove the stress associated with back-to-school and rest assured that their children are well prepared for a healthy and productive year ahead."
1- Make sure your child gets enough sleep BEFORE school starts
Start getting your child to bed at a set time a week or two before school starts. I start getting my son to bed 15 minutes earlier each night until we’re back to our regular school-night bedtime. Remember that 6-to-9 year-olds need 10 hours, preteens need 9 hours, and teens need about 8 to 9 1/2 hours of sleep each night.
2- Make a Health List and check it twice
Get your ducks in a row now. Make sure your child’s immunizations are current. Ensure that you and the school are on the same page regarding medicine for your kids (whether they administer it themselves or not). Find out the school's rules about medicine for kids old enough to handle monitoring and treatment at school. And,if your child is too young to self-administer, find out who handles medicines at the school and ensure they are familiar with your child’s needs. Schools like to have medicines in their original packaging, including the pharmacist’s instructions, so get an extra set and deliver it to the school personally.
3- Be prepared to handle curve balls
Work on a plan for how to deal with illness during the school year – sick children should stay home to prevent the spread of illness to others. If you and your partner work out of the home, do you have family, friends or caregivers whom can be called upon on short notice?
4- Have a trial run for the older kids who will be staying home alone after school
Having been a young latch-key kid of the 1970s, I can personally attest to the importance of creating a comfortable and safe-environment for your child if he or she is about 11 or older and will be spending time alone at home after school. Develop ground rules for your child to follow. Rules to think about setting: whether friends are allowed over, cooking rules, TV and computer rules, answering the door and phone, etc. I can’t recall if my own mother did this, but I think giving you’re a child a chance to practice being home alone before the school year starts is brilliant. (Thanks again, Seattle Children’s Hospital)
5- End the school day on a positive note
Young children especially get anxious about who will be picking them up at school or will someone be home to receive them when they get off the bus. As such, figure out your child's transportation plan and before- and after-school care (if needed) and make sure you explain the plan to your child before the school day begins. Repeating the schedule will be comforting. We love Seattle Children’s Hospital’s idea to arrange your calendar so you can spend extra time with your child the first week of school; transitions can be hard and just being together in the evenings can help.
]]>
]]>
Photo by John-Morgan
During summer when you plan an outdoor party for children you would think you’d be safe from the rain. Often though, thunderstorms and rain showers come out of nowhere-- especially with the heat-- and leaves you with disappointed kids. No matter the weather forecast, always have a backup plan for your outdoor party to avoid those frowns.
1. Plan activities that you can do both indoors and outdoors.
Typical outdoor birthday activities include: scavenger hunts, relay races, and messy crafts. Try to design these activities so they can be done in both places, e.g. hold the scavenger hunt around the inside of your home, hold relay races in your basement, and create the messy masterpieces in your garage.
2. Have a back-up plan of games and activities for being indoors.
If the outdoor birthday activities will not translate and work in your home, create a plan for alternate indoor activities. A simple list of classic games that can be done inside will go a long way to not worrying about the rain.
3. Often your menu at an outdoor birthday party is all around the BBQ.
Keep your original menu, but when you move it indoors, have the kids help make up the burgers and add their own fix’ns as a way to spend time and have fun creating their outdoor meal, indoors!
4. If not thundering and lightening, hand out rain ponchos and use the rain to your advantage.
This will surprise them! A little rain won’t hurt anyone, but watch the conditions carefully and if someone doesn’t want to go outdoors, that’s OK too.
5. In case of rain, create a back-up date.
If your party is all about being outdoors and will be ruined if it rains, then include a rain back-up date on your birthday party invitation and have a list of guests’ phone numbers to call and immediately change the date when you make this decision.
Lisa Kothari is the founder and president of Peppers and Pollywogs, a kids' party planning company that provides parents with ideas, entertainers, and interesting web-based tools (customized rhymes and cards for your invitations!) to make kids' party planning easy.
More Birthday Party Articles for you:
- Five Great Backyard Birthday Party Themes
- Inspiring Ideas For Kid's Birthdays
- The Best DIY Birthday Cakes
- Birthday Party Decorations
- Ideas for Birthday Party Games & Fun
- Birthday Accoutrements (you know, accessories!)
- Best Birthday Party Favors: Less Is More And Consumable Is Even Better
- Great Children's Birthday Traditions
- Birthday Parties for the Sensory-Sensitive Child
- Gifts For One-Year-Olds & Other People Who Would Rather Just Eat Wrapping Paper]]>
]]>
1. Teach young children your cell phone number to the tune of a song.
A 2-year old can sing 26 letters in a row, so she can probably master ten digits.
2. Make sure young children know the real anatomical names of their body parts.
Even if you use a nickname sometimes. The reason for this is that a child babbling in the backseat of a car that her best friend’s 14-year old brother put his cell phone up to her “nu-nu” might not get your attention. I can bet as soon as she says the word “vagina” your ears will prick up.
3. Instill in your child a sense that her body is her own.
They can say, “Don’t touch me there” or “I don’t like that.”
4. Make a plan for getting lost or separated.
Young children should be coached to look for another mommy to ask for help. (A mommy is a woman who has a child with her.) Older children should find a helping person such as a security guard or someone in a uniform, and big kids can navigate to a pre-discussed meeting place.
5. Ask your child to tell you if someone asks them to keep a secret.
Explain to older kids that responsible adults do not ask kids to keep secrets for them. Assure them that they will not get in trouble for telling another adult’s secret to Mom or Dad.
Robin Sax is a District Attorney who specializes in sex crimes against children. Her new book Predators and Child Molesters: What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe
answers the 100 most asked questions about this topic, including how to talk about it with children. It is available on Amazon.com.
]]>
]]>