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Week Twelve
Published 04.09.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (11)
Your Baby:
- Is about two-and-a-half inches long. So still in the lemon/lime range. Comparison reruns! Sorry about that.
- Already has pretty much every structure, organ and system needed for life by this point. Everything will continue to develop and mature, but your baby really is a perfect little miniature human being.
- Reproductive organs are distinctly male or female. A 3D ultrasound could possibly make a pretty good guess at the sex now.
- Can officially be Bugged By You. Reflexes have developed, so if you push on your uterus, your baby will squirm and move in response. You can't feel it, but it sure is fun to imagine getting flipped off by your fetus.
You:
- Are you feeling better? I hope you're feeling better. I keep thinking I'm feeling better and then I'm not. And then I am again! And then I smell whatever it is that you're eating over there and BLEH.
- Have a big-ass uterus now -- too big to remain all low in your pelvis. It'll sort of grow and migrate upwards during the second trimester. Pros: you won't have to pee so much. Cons: your baby will better be able to land many, many karate chops to your internal organs.
- Are probably in some maternity clothes now, especially if this isn't your first pregnancy and/or haven't lost weight due to morning sickness. The whole waist-butt-thigh region is spreading, and it's best to just go with it and be comfortable.
I had to go and double-check the list of published entries (repeatedly) because I cannot believe I am here writing Week 12. The last week of the first trimester. The time for big sighs of relief and even bigger announcements.
Some women wait until they're safely past the 12-week mark to tell ANYONE besides their partners, while others may tell friends and family but hold off on any workplace announcements. And then there's me, who ended up spilling the beans to my boss around six weeks last time due to a sudden spike in sick days and half days and panicked green-faced dashes out of important meetings. And this time I've been so compulsively blabby I'm pretty sure even the mailman knows my due date already.
This weekend, however, I became thoroughly and utterly convinced that my baby had died. I know I'm not alone in this flavor of pregnancy paranoia and I KNOW this will probably not be the last time I assume the worst has happened, but oh my goodness, what a STATE I worked myself into. Tears and moping and obsessive web-searching (BACK AWAY FROM GOOGLE, CRAZY LADY) and pacing pacing pacing.
Why? Well, I bought a stupid fetal doppler. For fun. And reassurance that everything was all right. (You can rent them too, but please. Think long and hard before welcoming this instrument of insanity into your home.) My first-trimester symptoms have decreased dramatically over the past week and I decided that the doppler would help keep me calm until I could feel the baby move in a few weeks or so.
HA HA! I FORSEE MUCH FAIL!
Long story short: fading pregnancy symptoms combined with hours and hours of nothing but static and my own pulse on the doppler led to a self-diagnosis of Dead Baby and Much Woe. I thought about all the people I'd have to break the news to -- all the people who I would probably run into in a few months who would stare at me in confusion -- the millions of little repercussions that would now follow my incredible cockiness for assuming that IT wouldn't happen to MEEEE -- not to mention just what in sam hill I was going to do with a first-person PREGNANCY COLUMN now.
Ahem. The baby is fine. Heartbeat going strong at 165 beats per minute. Ultrasound and nuchal scan scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning. And today's pre-breakfast gagfest into the kitchen sink reminds me that I'm not quite out of the first trimester yet, so hold onto your butts, there's plenty of crazy left for the next six months.
Oh Yeah, THIS: What, you mean BESIDES the raging emotions and soul-crushing paranoia? Well, fine. My nails (which are pretty much the worst and ugliest nails known to man, although I do have naturally well-behaved cuticles) are growing nice and long and strong, just like last time. They promptly all broke off within a week of giving birth, killing my theory that it was just the prenatal vitamins, so this time I plan to enjoy my lovely nails as much as possible. With as many manicures as possible.
New This Time Around: I am sort of shocked at the depths of my indifference towards baby-related purchases. Last time I couldn't WAIT to start filling my house with small, pastel-colored crap and gifts! and things! and the nursery! This time, the only desire to set up the crib and move changing table and buy a few packs of onesies stems from the bigger desire to just GET IT OVER WITH.
Noah's nursery was designed down to the smallest detail and included approximately 14,293,390 hand-stenciled leaves. The spare bedroom's walls are already a light green. Eh. Seems close enough. The room is full of furniture I have to find another place for and bin after bin of maternity clothes that have been slooooowly migrating to my closet piece by piece, because I don't feel like dealing with a full-on closet switchover.
My mom mentioned looking at little baby clothes and I mostly just moaned oh god, don't buy me anything yet, I have nowhere to put it! The whole shopping and prepping for baby experience has been completely tainted by the realization that no matter what you do ahead of time, you're still going to make 25 trips to Babies 'R Us with a tiny newborn in tow, and that same tiny newborn is going to pee and poop and spit up all over the coordinated crib bedding and decorative pillows and every adorable little outfit, so you might as well just put a lot of newspaper down at first.
Video for the Week: How to build a maternity wardrobe with Liz Lange.
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About this column
Zero to Forty is a week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it. New installments will be published on Wednesdays, with other pregnancy-related content and ramblings to be published whenever the columnist can stay awake long enough to type themzzzzzz.
The column is well-researched but not written by a health care professional. Consider it your internet BFF pregnancy guide. See our legal disclaimer below.
About the author
Amy Corbett Storch, aka Amalah, is a freelance writer and professional blogger from Washington, DC. She is currently knocked up with her second child, due in October. Her first child is still currently wearing diapers. Amy is currently wondering what she has gotten herself into now.
Amy also writes Alpha Mom's Advice Smackdown.
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The Zero to Forty masthead and illustrations were created by the artist Brenda Ponnay aka Secret Agent Josephine. Brenda is very talented and these images are copyright-protected. You should hire her!
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Comments (11):
Adele said:
That is so horrible about the whole Doppler incident. I had a midwife check this week at nigh on 14 weeks and she couldn't find the heartbeat either. Which she said was perfectly normal cos the baby is so small and could be lying in an awkward position. However I nearly had a heart attack....so she tried again a bit later and found the heartbeat! Phew! I thought about getting a Doppler as I love hearing the heartbeat...but then thought that it might become tyrannical - would I need to check the heartbeat every day for peace of mind? Every hour? Every half hour? With my natural tendency to panic I decided the Doppler would take over my life! :-)
Meanwhile, with the usual anxiety about the wellbeing of the new babe...I am also finding I am more anxious about my 18month's old safety...and am checking on her more during the night and worrying about her. Are you finding this with Noah?
Could this comment be any longer?
Also, I am anticipating that the 14wk foetus is now a small kitchen appliance size. Like perhaps the worlds' smallest whisk.
Posted on April 9, 2008 18:35
Wallydraigle said:
I hate those dopplers. I am the most ridiculously ticklish person ever in the whole entire world. At my 8-week appointment (or was it 10? I don't remember.), she spent five minutes rolling the thing around on my stomach while I twitched and writhed and created all sorts of problems with my periodic guffaws. At this past one, my 14-week, she found the heartbeat right away, but then the wee one decided to do some gymnastics. He'd (She'd? Who knows?) swim from one corner to another, landing in one place just long enough to find him but not get a heart rate, and then he'd zoom off on his merry way. He thinks he's hilarious. And I hate being tickled.
Posted on April 10, 2008 00:30
Karen Lee said:
Amalah, this isn't related to this week's entry but I wanted to let you know that I just had an US at 6w3d yesterday and, like you, the machine said it was somewhat earlier - 5w5d.
I have the luxury of knowing exactly when my little grain of rice was conceived (IUI) so I know for sure I had a normal length cycle, LMP 6w3ds ago, ovulation 14 days later.
The doctor at the fertility clinic guessed exactly 6w3d based on his experience, despite what the machine said, so I'm guessing that early ultrasounds may habitually underestimate CRL?
And, by the way, ohmygod wow I saw and heard a little heartbeat and it's AMAZING! There's a real baby growing in there!
Posted on April 10, 2008 07:09
Wallydraigle said:
Karen, that's really interesting.
(long, rambling comment to follow; sorry)
I wasn't too sure when my last cycle had started, but I know it was well before New Year's--at least a week. December 29th is when they judged the start of pregnancy to be. They measured me at 6w3d when I went in the first time, which would would put me a week or two earlier than I swear I am.
It's my first baby, so I don't really know how this whole thing goes, but for some reason all of my instincts are telling me I'm further along.
I'm showing super early, for one thing, and I "felt" pregnant for a few weeks before a positive test came up. According to their measurements, I would have taken that test at exactly 4 weeks, which means a week after conception I was feeling pregnant. And finally, all of my symptoms have been a week or two ahead of schedule. I realize every pregnancy is different, but everything has been shifted by that time period. I started feeling really awful as six weeks. It went away at ten. I started showing around 11. I'm fourteen weeks now, and I look four months pregnant.
I don't care that much, except that my husband was a monster baby, and my much-stockier mother in law had an awful delivery with him. If this baby is on time, and they think it's early, I don't want them to try to stop delivery of a possibly already-enormous baby that they think is underdeveloped. Any ideas?
Posted on April 10, 2008 13:59
Karen Lee said:
Wally (can I call you wally?),
I'd just tell your doctor your concerns and feelings.... and if they aren't able to put your mind at ease and at least admit that MAYBE you're a week or two ahead of where they think you are, then... find a new one?
Another interesting thing I found was a simple formula for dating based on fetal heart rate.
.3*FHR + 6 = days gestational age
It worked perfectly for me, as the wee bean's heart rate was 130 - which works out to exactly 6 weeks and 3 days.
Link to where I found it:
http://www.obgyn.net/medical.asp?page=/english/pubs/features/dubose/ehr-age
Posted on April 11, 2008 07:59
Wallydraigle said:
Wally! Oh my. Yes, that's fine. Although I always say it with a faux-Scottish brogue (given the level of talent I have for accents, it probably comes out more like I just have a lot of phlegm in my throat), and shortening to "Draigle" mig
I was planning on talking this over with my doctor at my next visit. I just wanted to know if I was totally and completely crazy to think I was further along based almost solely on my first-time pregnancy instincts.
At first I thought that formula you gave me applied to the whole pregnancy, and then I realized that meant my baby's heart should be thumping at 330 beats per minute. But I plugged the heart rate we got into the formula, and it actually put it at 5w5d, just under a week earlier than the size measurement put it. So I don't know. Maybe I'm just growing King Kong here.
Posted on April 11, 2008 19:00
Wallydraigle said:
I don't know what happened there. The end of that first paragraph was supposed to say something like, "and shortening to 'Draigle' instead of 'Wally' might facilitate that. But either way, it's not a big deal to me."
Posted on April 11, 2008 19:10
Amy Corbett Storch said:
Last time I knew my doctor had my due date wrong (I have 30-day cycles, not 28), and no matter how many times I told him I knew when I conceived, he kept giving me the same due date. It was just by a couple days so it wasn't that big of a deal...although by his math I was four or five days OVERDUE when I really wasn't.
I think the only problems you could encounter with an incorrect due date would be if you've got a doctor pushing for a scheduled c-section or induction when you're actually not as far along as they think...otherwise it's probably not a big deal to just silently disagree with them and wait for a later, more detailed ultrasound to confirm one of the dates.
But really, ultrasound measurements are SO NOT AN EXACT SCIENCE, so I wouldn't put too much stock in them regardless. They never predicted Noah was as big as he was, and several friends have been scared shitless over predictions of GIANT BABIES OF DOOM and then gone on to give birth to perfectly reasonably sized babies.
If you ask me about my due date this time I will shrug and say Octoberish. Probably sometime between the 14th and the 22nd. Meh.
Posted on April 14, 2008 16:21
Karen Lee said:
Oh, heh, yeah, the formula only works for, like, the first 9 weeks until the heart rate starts declining again! Should have mentioned that :-)
Posted on April 16, 2008 12:21
cnanavati said:
When I read in my stupid book that I should be feeling better this week, I just flipped it off and began swearing. I've lost 10lbs from morning sickness (and that's WITH anti-nausea meds) in the past 12 weeks (5 of in the last 3) and my nausea is getting WORSE.
Grin--it's good that I can annoy the baby--he's (she's?) annoying me right now.
(Disclaimer-love the baby to pieces, so wanted, blah blah blah)
Posted on April 29, 2008 11:03
Jennyth said:
I had the killer morning sickness too, and lost a good bit of weight the first 10 weeks. I realized that my body was rejecting animal protiens. Salads and raw foods I could eat....grilled chicken breast...no way. So now I am the queen of tofu, and I am morning sickness free. I have read in some places that morning sickness can be your body's way of trying to protect the baby from your diet (no judgement here). Just something to consider...
Posted on May 5, 2008 12:22