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Published 04.30.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (27)
Your Baby:
You:
A few weeks ago, Your Intrepid Gestator was interviewed by The Washington Times for an article about the latest edition of What to Expect When You're Expecting. Once considered the grandmommy of all pregnancy books, the What to Expect... series has fallen a little out of favor, what with that impossible-to-obey diet section, the seemingly endless pages of worst-case scenarios that could be lurking beneath your normal-seeming symptoms, and what's with the frumpy rocking-chair mom on the cover?
You can read the article here (I show up to crash the joint on page 2). It's actually really interesting, because the author is keenly aware of these criticisms, and has sought to correct most of them in the newest version. Even the cover got a makeover! She gets to wear JEANS! And STAND UP! Ship your women back to the fundamentalist compounds -- the pregnant women are getting all kinds of uppity.
Oh, I kid. What to Expect... was the first pregnancy book I ever bought -- right when we agreed to toss the birth control pills but long before we conceived. Once I finally (FIN.UH.LEE.) got pregnant, however, I hightailed it back to the bookstore in search of an alternative guide, because my nerves couldn't take any more. And this really wasn't the book's fault -- in the pursuit of being the definitive, comprehensive guide to pregnancy, What to Expect... simply became TOO comprehensive. They couldn't talk about X and Y without talking about Z, but unfortunately for us all, Z was the 1-in-32893803495702454 case of a spontaneous outbreak of the ebola virus in a perfectly healthy pregnancy, or something.
Basically, it was Google, and a thousand paranoid ill-advised searches for "weird rash 6 weeks pregnant missed miscarriage omg flesh eating disease," all printed out and numbered by chapter for your convenience.
Here on AlphaMom, the book sits at the top of the Product Ratings page for garnering the most reviews of anything we list. Lots of love, and lots of hate. Lots of accusations of being "old-fashioned" and "one big guilt trip."
And in fact, the Internet seems to be a driving force behind the book's update. Women are turning to other women. We don't WANT to know everything that can go wrong, even though we might THINK we do. We want to be told that everything is okay, that X, Y and Z are ALL normal and harmless, and that we're going to laugh at how neurotic we were about this someday when our baby is up at 2 am for the 132th night in a row. We want reassurance that you don't have to do pregnancy perfectly to have a perfectly healthy baby, because none of us are perfect.
And so the What to Expect... books are getting back in touch with the thing that made them so popular to begin with: they were written by a MOM and not a doctor. No perfect pregnancy diet, no dire consequences lurking behind every bag of Oreos. It really sounds like the book has been completely overhauled to reflect the modern pregnancy, which is most definitely NOT spent contemplating your bump in a rocking chair for nine months.
*clap clap clap clap!*
I use a lot of pregnancy books as reference for this column, but none for my own pregnancy-related questions. I generally turn to blogs or my friends or my friends' blogs for those. I liked The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy but found it sort of dated (STIRRUP PANTS!!) and fluffy, I still use the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy but it's kind of dry and missing the inherent humor and weirdness that comes with pregnancy, and I could never bring myself to open Pregnancy Sucks or similar books after battling with infertility. I'm a sucker for anything in the week-by-week format (no kidding!) but wish they included more first-person anecdotes to follow along with.
What about you guys? What books did you love? Or hate? Do you even bother with the books anymore, or do you go online instead?
Oh Yeah, THIS: I really wish I could remember where I put my keys. Also that glass of water I swear I just poured for myself. And wait, why did I walk down to the basement again?
New This Time Around: Oh God, I seem to have developed my very first skin tag. I read about these last time but never got them. I now have one in my armpit and ew. EW.
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Zero to Forty is a week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it. The calendar follows the forty-week model and is complete for now, though the author plans to come back and add some more articles soon.
The follow-up to this column, Bounce Back, is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory. There Amalah is covering everything that happens to your body, mind and circadian rhythms after you have a baby, and (hopefully) help you make sense of the New Normal. You must go read that too!
The column is well-researched but not written by a health care professional. Consider it your internet BFF pregnancy guide. See our legal disclaimer below.
Amy Corbett Storch, aka Amalah, is a freelance writer and professional blogger from Washington, DC. She has since had this baby. His name is Ezra, he was born in October of 2008 and is delicious. Amy's first son Noah is in preschool and he's pretty edible too. NomNomNom.
Amy also writes Alpha Mom's Advice Smackdown.
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Comments (27):
Julie said:
My favorite book when I was pregnant with my first son was "Pregnancy Journal: A Day to Day Guide to a Happy and Healthy Pregnancy" by A. Christine Harris. It was very positive throughout and exciting to learn when my baby had eyelashes, or fingernails. I'm 35 weeks pregnant with my second, and have only looked at the book once this time around! Also, I agree with the What to Expect comments - I always made my husband read that book and he could only tell me the good things.
Posted on April 30, 2008 10:42
psumommy said:
I'm loving The Pregnancy Book by Martha Sears (and 50 bajillion other people) this time around. I used Pregnancy Week By Week with my other 3 and loved it. And like every other mom out there ever, I bought What To Expect the second I got that pink line with my first and proceeded to HATE HATE HATE it. I was pretty even-keeled about the whole pregnancy thing, but I would be in a panic for days every time I'd read that book.
As for skin tags- I had 2 or 3 with my first and ewwww, I can't *stand* skin tags. What is it about them that's so gross, I don't know, but YUCK. I did find, however, that if you mess with them (a lot and constantly, I am really weird) they will fall off. All on their own, it's so weird! (Ewww!)
Posted on April 30, 2008 11:35
Tiffany said:
Ahh.. bleeding gums. I have those, check! I think that's more gross than the skin tags (which I also have, check again!). I brush my teeth for about 10 minutes every morning until my toothbrush finally comes back blood free. It's disgusting and I hate it (but fun to freak out my husband in the mornings when he's being a jerk).
Posted on April 30, 2008 11:43
joysdair said:
I'm not sure if it is available in the US (I'm in the UK), but The Rough Guide to Pregnancy & Birth by Kaz Cooke is hilarious. It includes a week by week diary with an informative summary thing and kooky cartoons (always a plus). Definitely no scary stories, though you'd probably want the Mayo Clinic or something similar to back it up for serious reading. You've gotta love a book that describes the linea nigra as a line to the map of Tassie.
Posted on April 30, 2008 13:13
Karen Lee said:
I have no books. I can't see the point when all the information I need (and more! Much more!) is available right here on the tubes.
My very favoritest week by week guide is... um... this one. Seriously. But that doesn't help you, does it?
So far things have been all quiet on the first trimester front, so there's not too much I need to do at the moment... but that doesn't stop me from reading online pregnancy resources pretty much non-stop.
Posted on April 30, 2008 14:11
Amy Corbett Storch said:
Skin tags will FALL OFF if you mess with them enough? Oh happy-yet-totally-gross day. Now all I need to do is figure out an inconspicuous way to poke the hell out of my armpit. Hmm.
Posted on April 30, 2008 14:35
Karen S said:
I had an armpit skin tag (and no pregnancy to blame). After a few months I accidentally-on-purpose shaved it off. It barely hurt and that was the end of that.
I read something once about doctors taking them off with threads, or something. Personally, I'd always go with the razor...
Posted on April 30, 2008 15:48
Emily said:
I don't know what a skin tag is and I'm too afraid to google it. (my eyesssss!) little help here?
Posted on April 30, 2008 17:05
jodie said:
With my first child, I loved the books by Ann Douglas - "The Mother of All Pregnancy Books" and then "The Mother of All Baby Books." She has a nice style of writing, used lots of quotes from "real" mom's experiences, and her advice and attidude were very common-sense based. She didn't go out of her way to scare her readers, but did tell you what risks to avoid.
Mostly, I like your Zero to Forty column and I'm not even pregnant (yet).
Posted on May 1, 2008 12:43
Wallydraigle said:
Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy.
My sister had it back when she first got pregnant. I was 20 and nowhere near pregnant, but I still read it and loved it. And then I bought it for myself first thing I found out I was pregnant. It's even funnier now because I know what she's talking about. Sometimes I laugh until I cry. My video-game crazy husband even read the whole thing.
Posted on May 1, 2008 14:17
Amy Corbett Storch said:
I keep HOPING my razor will take care of it, but so far, no luck. Damn safety razors, I guess.
Good call, Emily, on the Not Googling. (I googled just to confirm that yes, it was a skin tag and WHOO BOY DO I REGRET THAT.) It's kind of exactly what it sounds like -- a longish flatish bit of skin growing outward. I thought mine was a raised mole at first but it's flatter and longer than that. I doubt ANYONE could spot it, even if they were staring really hard at my armpit for some reason, but I DO NOT LIKE IT. 'TIS EW.
Posted on May 1, 2008 14:38
ImpostorMom said:
I actually really enjoyed Pregnancy Sucks. It took me a good long while to get pregnant but I found the title to be sort of funny and I liked how it was organized. Plus my husband ACTUALLY read Pregnancy Sucks for Men so that was an up as well. I liked the Girlfriend's Guide and generally used What to Expect as a reference. Other than that it was chat boards all the way.
Posted on May 1, 2008 17:05
Heather Flett said:
I discovered the Pregnancy Countdown Book a little late, but loved it! I used Your Pregnancy Week by Week the first time around and couldn't be bothered second time around. I enjoyed the Babycenter emails too (am I allowed to say that?).
Posted on May 2, 2008 14:14
cnanavati said:
I like the Girlfriends guide except any time the author talks about weight gain and going back to a size 8 or whatever. As a size 22/24 when I got pregnant, I just roll my eyes at her "OMG I'M SO FAT AT 150 LBS!!!!" mentality.
I'm keeping the Pregnancy Week by Week in teh bathroom to conveintly reference on my 243387 trips to the bathroom each day.
I also like pregnancy sucks, but that's because while I'm SO grateful to be pregnant again and to have a little one who is staying and growing this time, I've had the worst morning sickness EVER and am often miserable.
I also like Your Plus Sized Pregnancy for those of us who started this journey a bit heavier than the rest of you.
Posted on May 3, 2008 23:30
Mrs Burton 01 said:
Hi There! I am currently 24 weeks with my first child and have found the best pregnancy read to be Kaz Cookes "Bun In the Oven: The Real Guide to Pregnancy". It gives you plenty of information, but also looks at the funny things that happen to you along the way while you're cooking.
This book very quickly replaced "What to Expect" (because I found that way too scary), but I still refer to "What to Expect" as a back up when I want to know something specific.
As a side note, I'm actually in Sydney Australia, and Kaz Cookes book is called "Up The Duff" here!
Posted on May 6, 2008 20:36
kathrynaz said:
The problem with the pregnancy books lies in the fact that there are certain weeks where there pretty much isn't anything interesting happening... so they somehow feel the need to go THERE (there meaning the scary bad place of "just so you know that even though you seem to be doing fine, everything could very well not be so fine.") I tortured myself with Your Pregnancy Week by Week and What to Expect... for Pregnancy #1. This pregnancy, Ive been remarkably book (and google) free and doing much better for it!
Posted on May 7, 2008 03:23
heels said:
I detested everything abut What to Expect. I felt the exact opposite about the Sears' books, and actually found them to be terrifically calming, especially the Birth Book.
Posted on May 7, 2008 18:17
Katie said:
I'm not pregnant--but my friend was and she loved Frankly Pregnant by Stacy Quarty. I also read it and thought it was hilarious!
Posted on May 8, 2008 16:41
Karen Lee said:
I just read The Girlfriend's Guide and was woefully disappointed.
There were many questions that she just sort of... asks... and says, "Gee, I don't know! I guess someone could ask a doctor and find out!" I was left thinking, "Well, aren't YOU writing a BOOK on this?? Why don't you go ask a doctor?"
And the whole thing where she said pregnancy is really 10 months and then every time she said "9 months" she'd put "(10 months)" next to it... that thing got really annoying. 40 weeks! A month is about 4.3 weeks! That's 9 months, plus a little! Not 10. And if you take out the 2 weeks where you're not actually pregnant, it's just 9 months.
And she seemed really shallow... and not in a good, cute way at all. Just... shallow.
But the worst part was how utterly dismissive she was of women who want natural childbirth and breastfeeding. Ok, I get it, she needed the epidural - she seems pretty defensive about it, though, and tries to make women who make different choices into granola-amazon irrational types with "something to prove".
Now I'm reading Our Bodies Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth and it is sooooooooo much better.
Posted on May 22, 2008 15:27
Paranoid said:
I actually really loved What to Expect. I liked that it was comprehensive, and I didn't find it at all alarmist. In fact, I wish they'd been more explicit/detailed about things like ectopics and missed abortion, because maybe then those things wouldn't have been so shocking when they happened to me.
I also had The Girlfriend's Guide, but like the previous poster, I found the author's obsession with her weight off-putting.
Posted on August 15, 2008 12:45
Frema said:
I agree with Paranoid Mama - I really liked What to Expect. I loved the Q&A format, and I thought the author was always very reassuring. While a lot of complications were mentioned, it was with a "But this is rare, and you are probably fine" attitude, which I appreciated. And ...The First Year had a wonderful breastfeeding section. It had great practical tips without hitting you over the head with philosophy.
I've read the third and fourth editions of the pregnancy books and don't understand why this series has gotten such a bad rap. At least, those specific editions.
Posted on August 25, 2008 13:42
Jennie said:
I'm in the camp of those who found What to Expect alarmist and off-putting ... I bought it when I was pregnant with my first 8 years ago. I was a ball of nerves, plus the writing is irritatingly pun-infested. I find it difficult to get past the terrible writing.
This time around, I was given a copy of What to Expect by my OB, and I tried to get my significant other to read the husband portion of the book, and he hated how ridiculous the writing was, too. So I bought him The Expectant Father by Armin Brott, and we both really love it (I like knowing what they're going through, too!).
I've never really found a book I LOVED on pregnancy ... either they're too staid or too fluffy. I get several week by week e-mails though that are pretty fun and informative.
Posted on August 28, 2008 17:15
ElenaK said:
O'k.First book I bought was "A talking pregnancy" by Olga Budina(russian actrees).I was dreaming about buying it first during my long battle with infertility.I love this book.Unfortunatly,this book was written in Russian,so most of you can not read it.But if you have any chance-ask your Russian friend(if you have any) to translate it for you.
Now on my bed table are a lot of books:Mayo's Guide,Week by week Pragnancy Guide,Inna Mays Guide to childbirth(i'm saving it for later).
I think you can't stop only on one book.It's better to have couple on hands and explore the web-so you can build "whole picture"
Posted on October 8, 2008 11:50
ali said:
I don't have any skin tags and never have, but I read somewhere once that if you tie a thread really tight quite close to the skin the tag before you go to sleep it will drop off by the time you wake up. Like I said I've never had any so i can' say for sure if it works but I'm sure I heard it somewhere as well as reading it.
Posted on December 28, 2008 06:58
Leigh from 123 blog said:
I love What to Expect. When I have weird things happen (and these are IVF babies so it's been a LONG road) I can quickly look it up and see that it's normal or not (so far all normal)
Posted on March 9, 2009 10:49
Jo said:
I'm 15 weeks along, and have been subscribed to the daily whattoexpect.com emails since the beginning. LOVE THEM.
As far as other resources...well, Amalah, you're it! Heh. No, really, my mom had 5 of us so she kind of knows what's up. I rely a lot on her wisdom. And shoulder. Which I cry on. When I drive 15 minutes out of the way because I can't remember where I was going.
Posted on May 20, 2009 17:31
Vicky said:
From The Hips. Great book with little information bubbles from real Moms and Dads. Hate the medical books filled with transparent shrimp like babies. Gross. My baby is a perfectly formed and opaque (just really really small right now at 15 weeks).
Posted on June 4, 2009 12:30