« Week Thirty-Five | Main | Week Thirty-Seven »
Week Thirty-Six
Published 09.24.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (15)
Your Baby:
- Is six pounds. SIX. POUNDS. You probably have clothes in your house that already fit a six-pound baby.
- Is still not fully cooked yet, even though MOST babies born at this point will do just fine. But the lungs are better off with a couple more weeks of maturity.
- The size of your baby will start displacing amniotic fluid over the final few weeks. As the fluid gets reabsorbed into your body, you may notice that your baby's movements feel "different." You might not feel as many kicks as you used to, or the sensations are just...well, "different." It's mostly because of the cramped quarters in there and less fluid.
You:
- Are not done yet. I am sorry.
- Have gained 25 to 30 pounds, according to the books, which also say that it's "not unusual" for your weight to remain unchanged between weekly OB appointments. Say it with me: SHUT UP, BOOKS.
Can we talk about false labor? I've had it with false labor. I think false labor should shut up, curl up and die. And then set itself on fire.
I never had false labor last time. Oh sure, I had plenty of Braxton-Hicks contractions here and there. One time I actually had three whole contractions in a row and got super excited, but even that was over and done with in about 20 minutes.
This pregnancy, though. Gaaaaaaah. I'm petrified of being That Woman who becomes utterly convinced she's in labor and shows up at the hospital ready to have herself a darn baby, only to be sent home because it was a false alarm. (Seriously, I'm having anxiety dreams about that -- one dream involved a nurse telling me I was 3 centimeters dilated and an anesthesiologist inserting the epidural...right before my doctor showed up and announced that no, I WASN'T dilated at all, and then he yanked the epidural out and told me to go home.)
No, when I say "false labor" I mean an hours-long song-and-dance that does a PRETTY GOOD JOB of imitating the real thing. Regular, steady contractions. Five minutes apart. That keep coming whether you're lying down or standing up or chugging water or...or...eating an entire bag of Halloween candy. You know, in case it's just a bunch of those chocolate-deficiency contractions all the kids are talking about.
Last night, as I entered hour two or three of steady and extremely uncomfortable uterine activity, I packed my hospital bag and ordered my husband to round up all our camera batteries and cell phone chargers and tried to calmly figure out what in the WORLD we were supposed to do with our toddler in the middle of the night, with our on-call family members being up in BOSTON for the week, since why not? I'm more than three weeks away from my due date, we won't need them yet! Ha ha! Silly humans.
Needless to say, I am still pregnant. We did not drop our son off on anyone's doorstep, ring a doorbell and scream WE OWE YOU ONE at the bleary-eyed friend who answered before driving off to the hospital. The contractions tapered off sometime after midnight, and while my husband poked me awake several times throughout the night to make sure the baby and I were still okay ("WE'RE FINE. WE'RE SLEEPING. RAWR."), there is no real indication that I will experience the real thing before my appointed time in a few weeks.
So...how DO you tell the false labor from the real thing? Sometimes, it's really hard. While I love to make fun of movies' portrayals of pregnant women (you know, where EVERYBODY'S water breaks ultra-dramatically before they've even had a single contraction, or a woman feels one small twinge in her abdomen and announces that, without a doubt, "IT'S TIME!" and everybody rushes off like chickens with their heads cut off towards the hospital), I can totally see how and why women DO end up at the hospital over false alarms. But here are a few indicators that might help you figure out if you're experiencing false labor:
1) Your contractions are not coming at regular intervals, or are not consistent in their intensity or length. If one contraction has you doubled over in pain, but the next one is more of a mild twinge, and then the next one is really long but somewhere in between the first two on the pain scale, it's probably not active labor.
2) You don't notice any progression in the timing or pain of your contractions. My doctor told me flat-out that he wouldn't consider sending me to the hospital unless I was having contractions at three minutes apart for at least an hour. (Your doctor might have a different standard -- be sure to ASK if you don't know.) So even though my contractions started at five minutes apart, I waited. And waited. And they remained steady at five minutes apart, and they were not getting more painful or intense as the hours went by. In "real" labor, contractions get steadily closer together and more painful as your cervix dilates. Holding-pattern contractions generally mean there's nothing going on with your cervix, so just stay home and ride it out.
3) Your contractions stop and start, or change depending on what you're doing. The first rule of Braxton-Hicks contractions is to LIE DOWN, PUT YOUR FEET UP, DRINK WATER. This usually causes things to settle down. I continued to contract while lying down for awhile, but eventually I did get a brief 20-minute reprieve. They started up again and were more painful once I started walking around, which also told me that, no matter how nice it would be to have a baby already, it wasn't gonna happen that night.
4) You haven't passed the mucus plug or noticed any bloody show. At some point -- usually right before labor begins or at the onset of actual active labor -- you'll notice a fairly substantial amount of pink or blood-tinged mucus come out your vagina, often times after using the bathroom. It's...uh...hard to miss. I lost most of the mucus plug about 24 hours before going into labor last time, and then continued to lose more and more of it once labor really got going. (This is what gets called bloody show, which is just...exactly what it sounds like, and one of the many reasons you may notice that us mom types tend to lose most of our sense of shame after giving birth. I mean, once you've left a trail of THAT across a clean hospital floor in front of your husband and family members and God and everybody else, it's hard to imagine caring about a silly thing like DIGNITY anymore.)
5) Your water hasn't broken. This one is probably the least useful, however, because contrary to what the movies show, only about 10% of women actually experience the dramatic gush of fluid before labor begins. Usually you'll know you're in labor by the time it happens, or your practitioner will break your water for you with a big crochet-hook-like thing. So...this one is more of an indication that you ARE in real, active labor. (Although...GAH. I have also spent a lot of time Googling "how can i tell if my water has broken or if this is just more assorted pregnancy fluids of mystery?") (Surprise! Just more assorted pregnancy fluids of mystery.)
Finished with this Pregnancy Calendar and Want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
***************************************
Special Advertising Offer: Our friends at Zulily, the sales event site, are giving our readers a $10 discount to be used on a first purchase. Sign up as a new member through this special link and use the promo code ALPHAMOM10.
- RSS/Atom Feed/Twitter/ Facebook
Subscribe- Follow the Pregnancy Calendar on Twitter
- Show us some love and follow the Pregnancy Calendar on Facebook
- Search by Week
- Week 1
- Week 2
- Week 3
- Week 4
- Week 5
- Week 6
- Week 7
- Week 8
- Week 9
- Weeks 10
- Weeks 11
- Weeks 12
- Weeks 13
- Weeks 14
- Weeks 15
- Weeks 16
- Weeks 17
- Weeks 18
- Weeks 19
- Weeks 20
- Weeks 21
- Weeks 22
- Weeks 23
- Weeks 24
- Weeks 25
- Weeks 26
- Weeks 27
- Weeks 28
- Weeks 29
- Weeks 30
- Weeks 31
- Weeks 32
- Weeks 33
- Weeks 34
- Weeks 35
- Weeks 36
- Weeks 37
- Weeks 38
- Weeks 39
- Weeks 40
- Archives
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- March 2008
- February 2008
More Pregnancy & Baby Articles by Amalah
3) Baby 101: How to Dress a Newborn
1) Our Ultimate Baby Registry Checklist
2) The Five Most (and Least) Useful Baby Products
3) How to Create a Last-Minute Baby Registry
4) How to Buy Nursing Bras Before You Give Birth
About this column
Zero to Forty is a week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it. The calendar follows the forty-week model and is complete for now, though the author plans to come back and add some more articles soon.
The follow-up to this column, Bounce Back, is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory. There Amalah is covering everything that happens to your body, mind and circadian rhythms after you have a baby, and (hopefully) help you make sense of the New Normal. You must go read that too!
The column is well-researched but not written by a health care professional. Consider it your internet BFF pregnancy guide. See our legal disclaimer below.
About the author
Amy Corbett Storch, aka Amalah, is a freelance writer and professional blogger from Washington, DC. She has since had this baby. His name is Ezra, he was born in October of 2008 and is delicious. Amy's first son Noah is in preschool and he's pretty edible too. NomNomNom.
Amy also writes Alpha Mom's Advice Smackdown.
About the illustrations
The Zero to Forty masthead and illustrations were created by the artist Brenda Ponnay aka Secret Agent Josephine. Brenda is very talented and these images are copyright-protected. You should hire her!
Disclaimer
This column is only for entertainment purposes and is not written by a health care professional. Any recommendations or information provided herein should not be used as a substitute for advice by a trained professional. For a full statement of our site policies, please click here.
Comments (15):
Emily said:
Don't be TOO afraid of hospital checks when you think you might be in labor:
http://itsababynotbrainsurgery.blogspot.com/2008/03/i-know-what-youre-thinking.html
EIGHTY-ONE LABOR CHECKS. And this is just one particular hospital. Showing up once or twice and being sent home? NOTHING compared to EIGHTY-ONE LABOR CHECKS.
Posted on September 24, 2008 13:28
WabiSabiLife said:
25-30lbs? Hahahahaha!!! I *WISH*!! Last feb. I was 133. Yesterday? 184.4. I am due the same week as Amalah, which means I still have apx. 3 1/2 weeks to go.
god, I'm so achey....
Posted on September 24, 2008 21:15
Charlie said:
Gah, at 36 weeks I was ready to be done. Labor ended up coming the day after I hit 37 weeks. And there are days I wish my little were average in size she was 9lbs at three weeks early. And no worries about going in to the hospital. Sadly we went in to have the baby checked the night before I went into labor.
Posted on September 25, 2008 01:23
Karen said:
Heh, I was one of *those* women, who is convinced she was in labor (my doula agreed with me!), went to the hospital, triage nurse checks me, says "You're 4 cm dilated" and I was all, "WOOT!" Got checked in, and....no progress. My doctor gently said that we could either a) use pitocin to speed things along, or b) i could opt to go home, see if things sped up and spend more labor time in the comfort of my own home.
I went home, bawling not because I hadn't had a baby, but because I had put everybody (doula, family members, sitter) through all that bother.
At my next OB appointment, found out that the nurse messed up, that I was only 1 cm dilated. I remember flinging my heavily-pregnant upper torso upright on the exam table and yelling "WHAT THE HELL!?"
One week later, I was induced because a) big babies run in the family and b) I was so done, dear Lord.
it's not the worst, being one of those ladies. A bit humblig, but not the worst.
Posted on September 25, 2008 08:01
Kate B. said:
I probably shouldn't post this, but it all happened backwards for me. I suspected that the "assorted pregnancy fluids of mystery" had changed, subtly, but thought I was being paranoid due to over-Googling pregnancy symptoms. I shared my concern with my mother-in-law, however, and she was worried enough that I decided to go to the doctor just to make HER feel better. My doctor was slightly patronizing, agreeing to test for amniotic fluid leakage to "make me feel better," and surprise! It really WAS amniotic fluid! The startled doctor send me to the hospital immediately, and 11 short hours later, I had a baby girl.
We actually had the baby the night of our last childbirth preparation class. Now that we know she is absolutely healthy, I am so glad she came early (not least of the reasons is that she weighed in at 6 lb 9 oz a MONTH before her due date). It was strange because I never got to experience the impatience/anticipation, since it seemed like a month was a LOOONG ways away. I hadn't packed my hospital bag, and we hadn't even agreed on a name!
It is hard to believe that instead of going in for my 38 week check-up tomorrow, I'll be bringing her in for HER 2 week check-up!
Posted on September 25, 2008 14:33
Shaunna said:
Karen:
I've learned in my childbirth prep classes that you can reverse dilate. So maybe somebody did not mess up. You actually can be 4 cm and then later be only 1 cm. Who knows. Just a thought.
Posted on September 26, 2008 11:06
Crystal said:
Ok, here's my embarrassing tale.
I lost my mucus plug and FREAKED OUT because I was only 32 weeks along.
I call my OB, and am informed that
-A-without blood it doesn't really mean anything
-B-Please dear god don't save it and bring it in to show us
-C-No,REALLY, it doesn't mean you're going into labor anytime soon.
-D-It GROWS BACK
-E-You can lose it multiple times
eep
Two weeks later I'm still super pregnant, have lost a second mucus plug, and am equally grossed out by having seen what looked like a giant booger come out of my vagina.
Posted on September 26, 2008 16:23
Stephanie said:
Its so hard knowing when its really going to happen. So after my last child I told myself I wasnt going to assemble the troops until I was sure. After 2 false alarms trying to find babysitters at 9pm for my 2 little boys I decided it was enough. Best advice for people is to call people when you think you might, just to give them a heads up to keep the phone with them. Thats what I plan on doing this time.
Posted on October 3, 2008 08:53
Pregnancy said:
Labor is the most painful time in giving birth but when the baby is coming out it is the happiest moment, according to my Aunt and Friends who experienced it.me??Not yet..I am one of those women who are having phobia on having this kind of challenges.
Posted on December 16, 2008 22:39
lornadoone1972 said:
I just had my 36 week check up with my fabulous Jamaican doctor - he is truly super laid back and has a great reputation in town - which has its benefits - sometimes. I asked when I should go to hospital and asked if I should follow the 1 minute contractions every 5 minutes for 1 hour or more rule... to which he replied - Oh no - just go in when the contractions are too uncomfortable...hmm - couldn't that be different for everybody. So then I said - should I call you when i go in or earlier. Oh no don't worry about calling me - just go in and they'll find me! Oh boy... ambiguity at its best!
Posted on January 16, 2009 17:18
Lauren said:
Gah! I'm so with you on the false labor. I'm 33 weeks now, lost my mucus plug with plenty of "bloody show (ha, ha)" yesterday, and had hard contractions 3 minutes apart for 3 hours straight last night. The best part? My husband is out of town, and my mom is in the hospital. I was really looking forward to my 3.5 year-old being my labor coach. Thank heavens...no baby, yet.
Posted on April 1, 2009 14:03
Della said:
Siiiighhh. Last weekend (35 wks), I totally whacked my belly on a door frame, which sent me into 1-2 minute apart contractions for THREE HOURS. About the "are they getting closer together" question... um... how could they!?!!
But luckily, this is my second baby, so I knew they were false labor and they didn't hurt. Much. Still, I slept sitting up, that night, just in case. In the morning, I counted 8 in the hour between when I woke up and when my doctor's office opened, so for all I knew they could have been going all night! I was freaking out by now! When I spoke to my nurse, I found that the doc was performing a major surgery that morning. Rather than tell me to come in and see another doc in the practice, the nurse told me I could wait until the afternoon to see my regular doc. I couldn't believe she was being so calm about it! I was sure they would send me to the ER to get re-hydrated or SOMETHING. But nah.
Sulking, I took a nap while I waited, and the contractions had stopped by the time I got to the doc. Figures. Also, I am neither effaced NOR dilated. Siiiiigghhhhh....
Anyhow, if it's your first one, I'd suggest having called the doctor back at the point where they were a couple minutes apart, instead of doing what I did. But I did learn something; my doc says that with the second, third, etc, "every woman tells him" that the practice contractions feel more like the real thing, are more intense, possibly painful even. Just something to keep in mind.
Posted on August 11, 2009 00:49
CherylH said:
I read this site religiously during my first pregnancy last year. Just wanted to share that I was one of those "lucky" 10% of women whose water DID break prior to any symptoms of labor. I was just sleeping in bed at 12:45 AM and woke up thinking I'd peed myself. No cramps, never saw a mucus plug or bloody show. Just, water breaks = off to the hospital = healthy, 7lb 12oz baby boy born about 15 hours later. Oh, and I was only at 36 1/2 weeks.
So...it's just hard to tell. Every woman is different.
Posted on September 2, 2009 15:56
Kim said:
Had my first at 35 weeks (7lbs, 3 oz - I laugh at your 6 lbs!) I was so happy to get past that date - and then I woke up in pain all night, and was sure the baby wasn't moving. Eventually I had a bowl of cereal, and the baby did move, so I tried to get some more sleep. But I was still in godawful pain when I woke up (although I wasn't contracting, and the pain was way higher than I expected it. So I trundled off to the hospital, where I spent the whole day having... gas pains. Hyperactive Bowel Activity, they called. Yeah. Ain't posting that on Facebook. But... I am glad I went, because they ruled out pre-eclampsia, and I did have some early labor, and good gah, I was in pain. But honestly - gas pain? Pregnancy rocks.
I'm due Jan. 27, don't expect I'll make it, but I really want to get past the holidays and into the new year....
Posted on December 31, 2009 00:10
Dbug said:
I just spent a Sunday night up every hour to either pee or because I was in pain. Painful false labor where the contractions where an hour apart but lasted like 15 minutes. Ick. I also passed my mucus plug. Fine the whole next day and night, but it did have the effect of waking up my husband. He's usually so laid back and my mentioning we will have a baby soon and he should be prepared has had no effect. Now he thinks I'm going into labor tomorrow and has gone into super husband/dad mode. Finally:-)
Posted on March 2, 2010 10:39