Pregnancy Calendartag:www.alphamom.com,2010:/pregnancy-calendar//172009-08-25T05:08:37ZMovable Type 3.33Welcome to our Pregnancy Weekly!tag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.18152008-10-24T02:58:13Z2009-08-25T05:08:37ZZero to Forty is a week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it. Consider it your internet BFF pregnancy guide. If you look to your right, in the center column, you will...Catherinehttp://alphamom.comZero to Forty is a week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it. Consider it your internet BFF pregnancy guide.
If you look to your right, in the center column, you will see a listing for the 40 weeks of pregnancy under the heading "Search by Week." Find your current week and then keep on coming back to visit us. You won't regret it.
Here are what some readers have written about our Pregnancy Weekly:
Ok this seriously has to be my fave weekly pregnancy site! I am spreading the word! - Destiny
Where have you been? I have three of the dullest completely lacking in any comedy pregnancy books that are just instilling fear into my core. This blog is just what I needed--a dose of comedy to get through it all. Thank you! - Leslie
Yay, for a fun preggo blog! - Jennie
The Ultimate Baby Registry
Looking to know, what to buy, what to skip and what to buy later when it comes to the baby registry? Well, we've got you covered. Just go line-by-line, down our Baby Registry Checklist.
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Week Fortytag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.17482008-10-22T06:57:03Z2010-03-11T16:20:17ZThis is the last installment of our Weekly Pregnancy Calendar. Amalah had her baby boy! Read her list on ideas for how to spend that final(s) week(s). Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdown
Your Baby:
get out get out get out.
get out get out get out get out.
You:
get out get out get out get out get out.
get out! get out get out get out.
and for real: GET OUT.
So first, the bad news. Less than 10% of babies actually show up on their due date. While the word "overdue" pretty much feels on par with the f-word during the final weeks of pregnancy, the sad truth is that many of us will end up there.
You may continue to trudge to work everyday, silently fuming about how this was SO NOT WHAT YOU MEANT by your plan to "work up until your due date." You may start working from home, blaming an inability to fit into your shoes or keep the bottom few inches of your belly covered. You may be trying to convince your older children that no, FOR REAL, the baby still is coming, you swear, despite the fact that the cheerfully circled Big Brother Day!! on the calendar has come and gone. You may just be sitting around, waiting. And waiting.
Endless walking? Mucus plug? Contractions? Spicy food? Sex? Anyone? Can I have some sign that this is almost over? Don't make me break out the castor oil.
I sent out an All Internets Bulletin over Twitter recently, asking for everybody to submit one thing to do while waiting for labor to begin. And lo, the Internets responded in massive numbers.
And so here I present the definitive, written-by-you-the-peoples list of 40 Things To Do While Waiting To Go Into Labor. Hoping reading this list will count as one, and maybe if we're lucky a couple of you will actually go into labor by the time you get to the end.
1) Go out for dinner and a movie with your partner. Every night. See every crap movie out there if you have to.
2) Cook and freeze meals, or place orders for meal delivery service. Or drop hints to people who call to see if that pesky baby is here yet that FOOD IS APPRECIATED.
3) Bake cookies, breads, brownies.
4) Pamper yourself with a face and hair mask. Overly lotion feet, wrap in saran wrap, don socks. (Don't walk though, you'll slide.)
5) Scrapbook and organize all the photos you've been meaning to scrapbook and organize.
6) SLEEP.
7) Walk the mall and eat your weight in pretzels.
8) Stock up on liquor. You know, "for the family to celebrate."
9) Read a book that has absolutely nothing to do with babies or pregnancy.
10) Get a manicure and pedicure. (Also suggested: chew all your nails off...then go get tips put on...then chew THOSE off.)
11) Get a massage.
12) Create and listen to your labor music mix. Practice finding your happy place.
13) Mow the lawn.
14) Give the pets baths and toenail clippings.
15) Wash your car.
16) Learn to knit and make a hat.
17) Cover mattress in plastic in case water breaks in bed.
18) Decide plastic is too noisy when rolling huge ass around to get comfy, take chances.
19) Clean out forgotten cabinets -- under the sink, the Tupperware drawer, etc.
20) Lie on nice cool bathroom floor and clean the grout with a toothbrush.
21) Have sex. It'll be your last chance for weeks, such as it is.
22) Window shop for a celebratory "you've lost at least some of the baby weight" outfit for later.
23) Take a nap without apology or hesitation.
24) Hide things in house that may be inappropriate for visiting grandparents and family members.
25) Get a carseat inspection at the local firehouse.
26) Charge anything and everything that resembles a phone or a camera.
27) Make a decision regarding your nether regions: get waxed? get help from partner? or decide that if you can't see it, it clearly no longer exists or matters?
28) Alphabetize your CDs and arrange DVDs by genre.
29) Buy some guilty pleasures on iTunes and make a kickass one-hit-wonder playlist.
30) Write thank-you cards for any gifts you've already received.
31) Re-wash, re-fold, re-organize the baby clothes.
32) Assemble swings, bouncy seats and other battery-operated baby gear, make sure you have at least one full set of (RECHARGABLE) batteries for everything.
33) Pack a diaper bag.
34) Start an ambitious new project that is guaranteed to remain unfinished for the next six months once you go into labor halfway through it.
35) Go out for ice cream cones.
36) Clear out one shelf in kitchen for bottles, breastpump parts, baby food and plastic dishes.
37) Fill and re-order Netflix queue.
38) Sign up for an infant CPR class.
39) Take a dry-run test-drive to the hospital (or several, at different times of the day.)
40) Knit an umbilical cord cozy.
Want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
Is full-term, almost done, probably about a medium-well on the Burger Scale.
Is about 20 inches long and over seven pounds, maybe, depends, who knows.
(Seriously. No one knows. If you have an ultrasound this week or next, take the measurements and weight guesses with enough grains of salt to season a fresh batch of fries. Late-term ultrasounds are ridiculously imprecise, with a margin of error of up to TWO POUNDS in either direction.)
You:
Oh, please. Like you need ME to tell you anything about what you're going through at this point. I'm just gonna stand over here, out of your way, and maybe silently nudge this pint of ice cream on over to you.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, everybody I knew seemed extremely concerned with how our pets were going to handle the baby. What were we doing to prepare the PETS? Did the pets seem like they knew what was happening? What did they think of the nursery? Did they seem extra protective of me? Had I taken enough precautions to ensure that their sweet little feline and canine souls would not be crushed by the massive demotion in status that was in store for them?
This time nobody gives a rat's ass about the pets, but instead want to hear about Noah and what HE thinks and how we're preparing HIM and oh, goodness, do you think he's really READY for a sibling?
I have no idea. I DO hope we've prepared him a little better than we prepared the dog, at least. If we can avoid a broken bone this week, I'd say we did okay. I'm aiming high, yes.
Preparing your pet for the new baby
As far as preparing pets go, the Humane Society has a slew of suggestions, including some pretty practical (and easy!) things like decreasing attention and lap time BEFORE the baby comes, putting baby powder or lotion on your skin to get them used to the smell, trimming nails for safety, etc. If you'd like to drive yourself completely berserk, feel free to do EVERYTHING on the list, including carrying around a baby doll (including OUTSIDE, ON WALKS, IN A STROLLER) and playing recordings of babies crying and cooing. (I know you already have those lying around the house, right?)
I sent my husband home from the hospital with a hat and blanket we'd used for the baby and instructed him to let the pets smell it. They both ignored them completely, since they were way more interested in FOOD! REFILL MY FOOD! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WE RAN OUT OF FOOD FIVE MINUTES AGO FOOOOOD!
When we arrived home with the baby, our cat was completely nonchalant and nonplussed, while our dog proceeded to have a conniption for about eight solid hours. She whined, she cried, she sniffed, she hovered and snuck off to pee on the kitchen floor. She tried to smell my boob while I nursed in bed and I hollered at her and she jumped off the bed and ta-da! That's how we ended up at the emergency vet with a broken leg our first night home.
So...how not to do what we did? Our biggest mistake was NOT decreasing of attention and lap time, or forcing a change in her sleeping arrangements ahead of time. Why it didn't occur to me that I wouldn't want the DOG in bed with us while trying to get every scrap of sleep we could, I have no idea. Trust me, I know you love your dog like a child and can't imagine NOT finding comfort in his slobbery, hairy body curled up with you on the couch, you will want him OFF the couch and OFF your lap and you will scold him and order him to lie down in the corner away from you. Start establishing a little distance NOW, when you can do it gently and kindly, before your patience level plummets.
Preparing young children for a new baby
Obviously, this doesn't really work with a three-year-old child. We've done everything we can, I THINK, to prepare him for a sibling. Although preparing a toddler for major life changes is sort of like...uh...trying make a Jell-O mold with a sieve. (NOTE: I have never made a Jell-O mold with a sieve, or any Jell-O molds for that matter. One time in junior high I burned Jell-O because I thought you had to cook it.)
A few things we've done:
1) Bought him a realistic-looking (but toddler-proportionate) baby doll. We call it Noah's Baby and practiced giving the baby a bottle, burping it and talked about the proper way to touch and hold babies. I am pretty sure that Noah's Baby gets picked up by his eyeballs and hurled against the wall whenever we're not around, but hey, we tried.
2) Lots and lots and LOTS of repetition about the baby in Mama's tummy and baby brother and where's baby brother? and what will baby brother do when baby brother is born? (Answer: cry, eat, poop in diapers, sleep in Mama's room, etc.) Again, I don't know if any of this stuff has gotten through beyond a rote memorization level, but WE TRIED.
3) Took him to our 3D ultrasound and gave him a wallet-sized photo of his very own. He became surprisingly attached to it and carried it around everywhere for awhile.
4) Regular playtime in the nursery. Noah loved the reappearance of his old baby toys, so I put them out in a basket where he could go in and play with them anytime. We'd talk about what babies do with rattles and teething rings, and then we'd talk about the crib and the changing table until he seemed to understand that yes, this is BABY BROTHER'S room and BABY BROTHER will live here someday.
5) Books. We ended up with several books on the "I'm a big brother/new baby at our house" genre. They're all virtually identical -- just find one with pictures and phrasing that appeals to your kid. Noah definitely dug the ones with a lot of repetition of Big Brother and Baby Brother, since those are the terms we use a lot already.
6) TV. Yes, TV. If your child is preschool-aged or younger and has a favorite show, chances are there's an episode out there about new babies. Blue's Clues has several about Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper going to the baby hospital to deliver their little spice shaker babies (I KNOW, I KNOW), and Dora the Explorer has both a TV episode and a book about the birth of her younger siblings. Watch them with your kid and then try to use the same phrases and terminology afterwards -- over and over and over.
7) When in doubt, BRIBERY. When the baby gifts started piling up, we were lucky enough to have brilliant friends who made sure to include Noah. We have a gift ready and wrapped in the hospital bag to give him (or for "Baby Brother" to give him) when we introduce them for the first time.
And for the past week, we've been opening little gifts from the Big Brother Box -- a truly totally inspired shower gift if I have ever seen one. Sara from Norwood Arts makes a variety of "countdown boxes," similar to an Advent calendar, with 10 small gifts to open and help count down the days. (The sibling versions contain simple toys like Play-Doh and stickers and OMFG A SLINKY! A SLINKY! THE GREATEST THING EVER IN THE WORLD OMG A SLINKY!) Since we've been talking about Baby Brother for AGES now, I was concerned about how to help Noah realize that yes, Baby Brother IS coming out of there at some point, I MEAN IT THIS TIME. He seems to get that when all the boxes in the Big Brother Box are opened, it will be time for the Baby Hospital and Baby Brother Day and all that.
And my friend gave me some great advice: your older child will constantly be told that "the baby needs Mama/milk/diaper change/rocking right now," so whenever you attend to your older child's needs, turn to the baby and tell HIM that "Noah needs Mama/juice/to go potty/a snack right now." I think this is brilliant.
But, like we learned with the pets, there's a limit to how much you can prepare a small child. I have no idea what will happen when Baby Brother IS home. And stays at home. And doesn't ever go back to the Baby Hospital and what do you MEAN the Big Brother Box is all done? Mama! Baby Brother is looking at my Slinky MAKE HIM STOP DAT MAMA! We're aiming to keep everyone safe and all legs unbusted. We'll be stretched pretty thin for awhile, I'm sure, trying to make sure that everyone from the pets on up get the security and attention they need, but luckily I know this time that love sure as hell isn't a finite thing around here.
Finished with this Pregnancy Calendar and Want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Special Advertising Offer: Our friends at Zulily, the sales event site, are giving our readers a $10 discount to be used on a first purchase. Sign up as a new member through this special link and use the promo code ALPHAMOM10.
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Week Thirty-Eighttag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.17402008-10-08T11:12:04Z2010-03-11T16:21:10ZAmalah's hitting the home stretch. The focus this week is on memorializing your pregnancy.Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Is officially a little chunkin, at well over six pounds and 19 1/2 inches long.
Is also officially considered "full term." In other words, he or she is STRAIGHT UP FREELOADING from here on out.
Is practicing making fists and fetal breathing in anticipation of life outside the womb.
You:
Have probably had enough of this magical special time, thank you very much.
Backaches, joint aches, heartburn, indigestion, constipation, Braxton-Hicks contractions, painful kicks, bladder pressure, stretch marks, itchy skin, swollen ankles, fatigue, dry mouth, mood swings, did I miss anything else in this cavalcade of late-pregnancy hilarity?
Are alternating between crazy excitement about finally meeting your baby and crazy panic about oh my God, you're finally going to meet your baby and they're going to expect that you take it home and like, keep it alive and stuff.
This week we turned our bedroom into a photography studio. I only have a handful of "real" photographs from my pregnancies (beyond the disembodied self-portraits of my belly that I've taken every week), and I was determined to remedy this. Not determined enough, apparently, to remember to find and book an actual maternity portrait session with an actual maternity photographer, but surprisingly, I'm really happy with the results.
We draped a couple sheets over our bed and tacked them up on the wall (with Scotch tape, for we are Classy), covered two cheap <clamp lights (available at any hardware or art supply store) with tissue paper and attached them to the ceiling fan, set up the camera and the tripod and ta da! Do-it-yourself maternity portraits.
Now, I HATE having my picture taken. I HATE IT. But I also hate not having any decent photos of myself. So I agreed to suck it up and go along with my husband's posing instructions, despite feeling like a giant, squishy, stretch-marked whale. We looked online at what the professionals do (HUSBAND, WHILE GOOGLING:Please God, don't let a ton of porn show up.) for ideas, and then sort of improvised based on our half-assed set-up and photography abilities. I wore a bra and some stretch pants, then even got brave enough to shed my clothes (tastefully, I swear), and we used the camera's timer to let my husband get in a few shots.
Crappy color was fixed by switching to black-and-white or sepia afterwards, and my admittedly rudimentary Photoshop skills were enough to fix any other complaints (namely, armpit boob, what the hell?). I'm still annoyed that I didn't have my act together enough to book a "real" photo session, but if money is tight or you're really shy about the idea of getting maternity photos taken, I encourage you to try your own session at home. Once my husband showed me a couple of the photos he'd taken, I went from that squashy beached whale feeling to a wonderful feeling of...well, this is corny as hell but true...BEAUTY. Look at what my body is DOING! Look at the curves and the bump and the BABY! Only a couple of them are anything I'd consider framing or showing people, but I think they're all beautiful and I'm so happy I'll have them to remember this pregnancy by.
The whole night ended up being a really great little celebration of the baby and the last days of pregnancy. We were taking my photo but it was really about him, and after we put the camera away we came to an immediate and easy agreement about his name -- which was a freaking MIRACLE, believe me.
In addition to maternity photography, there are other ways you can celebrate and preserve the Final Days of the Belly. A couple other ideas:
Make a cast of your belly. You can buy special kits or hit the local craft store for plaster mixes, or just do old school paper mache. I think most women like the IDEA of these casts but are always a little creeped out by the idea of hanging them on the wall afterwards. But if you're artistically inclined, though, they certainly do make a cool canvas to paint and decorate afterwards.
Skip the plaster and just decorate your actual belly. Linda got a gorgeous henna design and THEN set up her own at-home photo shoot, which was also gorgeous. If you've got older kids, buy some face or body paint and let them each have a go at your belly, creating their own little message and painting for the baby, then take photos. (I'm picturing a side-by-side collage frame of a series of little fingerpainted masterpieces hanging in the nursery and totally loving it.)
Finished with this Pregnancy Calendar and Want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Special Advertising Offer: Our friends at Zulily, the sales event site, are giving our readers a $10 discount to be used on a first purchase. Sign up as a new member through this special link and use the promo code ALPHAMOM10.]]>
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Week Thirty-Seventag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.16712008-10-01T14:31:30Z2010-03-11T16:21:43ZAmalah is fast approaching her due date and she has been bitten by the nesting bug. Some of her recommendations for do's and don't's Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Weighs about six and a half pounds, and is 21 inches long -- quite possibly the same length he or she will be at birth.
Is packing on close to a half-pound of pure, unadulterated baby chub every week.
You:
Are probably dismayed to realize you are STILL outgrowing your maternity clothes. Your shirts ride up to reveal a couple inches of belly (or elastic waistbands), your pants might bulge and pucker weirdly as your uterus drops lower, and some tops might feel especially tight as your ribcage expands to handle all your pushed-up organs.
Might be having serious trouble getting a good night's sleep thanks to your size (my limbs keep falling asleep under my body's crushing weight), your baby's jolt-you-awake-caliber kicks, bladder calls, Braxton-Hicks contractions, and your brain's constant buzz of excitement and anxiety and massive to-do lists.
Despite feeling whale-ish and slow and awkward, and despite not even remembering the last full night's sleep you got, many pregnant women get a burst of nervous energy in the final weeks. You'll get the patronizing "oh, you're just NESTING" from everybody else, but not from me. I understand. There are fingerprints on those windows and unless you just go get the Windex right this minute you'll be looking at those fingerprints six months from now oh my God get the Windex right this minute WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR.
Yes, I washed every windowpane in my house -- inside and out -- this weekend. I also had contractions at Pier One while shopping for chairs. I came home and assembled a swing and a bouncy seat, then installed the infant car seat base in my car. I bought shelves and spackled drywall and then scored myself a freshly painted basement ceiling when I announced my intention to do something about some old water stains while conveniently holding a painter's mask and a can of surely terribly toxic stain sealer/primer stuff in front of my in-laws.
(My husband, for the record, is nesting just as badly as I am -- he's rearranged the furniture in three rooms so far, has plans for two more and has sketched out an impressive-looking diagram of a new kitchen island he apparently intends to build himself.)
(HAAAAAAAAAAAA.)
Some women don't nest at all, some keep it confined to baby-centric preparations, and some of us lose our entire damn minds during the entire last month of pregnancy with a constant obsession of finishing long-procrastinated tasks and a ravenous compulsion to KEEP MOVING, STAY BUSY, CANNOT SIT STILL.
Whether it's an ambitious decision to install a new tile backsplash or organize the linen closet or re-file everything in your office desk and cabinets, nesting can actually serve a noble purpose. You DO get things done that you've been putting off for ages and that likely won't ever get done soon with a newborn in the house. You DO channel your nervous energy into something productive. Time WILL pass more quickly. You WILL feel calmer and more prepared for maternity leave and weeks of 24/7 baby duty when you cross things off the to-do list. And the constant activity and exercise CAN aid your body in preparing for labor (or even induce labor, depending on how much stock you hold in old wives' tales).
A few nesting DON'Ts, however:
1) DON'T paint, if you can help it. Delegate tasks that involve icky fumes or heavy chemicals to your partner or other family members. If you MUST paint, make sure you wear a mask and have windows open and fans blowing to keep the area ventilated. When shopping for paints, look for paints that emit fewer fumes than conventional paints, especially those that are oil-based. (The same goes for some household cleansers, especially bleach-based bathroom products, and stuff like furniture refinishers and stains.) The not-for-profit Healthy Child Healthy World has information on safer paints and finishes.
2) DON'T get up on ladders or furniture. You're big and unwieldy and clumsy. Don't overestimate how good your balance and center of gravity is at this point.
3) DON'T overdo it. I know, I know. Isn't the point of frantic nesting to get your body all pumped up and contraction-y? Sort of, but not. If you realize you're out of breath or sweating or dizzy, stop and lie down immediately. Drink plenty of water.
Most likely your baby will come when he or she is really ready, NOT at the precise moment you've finished installing the crown moulding. It really, really isn't the end of the world if the tub never gets regrouted. You're more likely to end up dehydrated and swollen than in labor. And besides -- going through the physically demanding process of labor and delivery right after overdoing it on the housework is not ideal for you or the baby.
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Special Advertising Offer: Our friends at Zulily, the sales event site, are giving our readers a $10 discount to be used on a first purchase. Sign up as a new member through this special link and use the promo code ALPHAMOM10.
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Week Thirty-Sixtag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.16452008-09-24T11:30:42Z2010-03-11T16:24:25ZAmalah is at Week 36. Time is flying by. This week's focus is on False Labor. How can you tell if it is the "real thing?"Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Is six pounds. SIX. POUNDS. You probably have clothes in your house that already fit a six-pound baby.
Is still not fully cooked yet, even though MOST babies born at this point will do just fine. But the lungs are better off with a couple more weeks of maturity.
The size of your baby will start displacing amniotic fluid over the final few weeks. As the fluid gets reabsorbed into your body, you may notice that your baby's movements feel "different." You might not feel as many kicks as you used to, or the sensations are just...well, "different." It's mostly because of the cramped quarters in there and less fluid.
You:
Are not done yet. I am sorry.
Have gained 25 to 30 pounds, according to the books, which also say that it's "not unusual" for your weight to remain unchanged between weekly OB appointments. Say it with me: SHUT UP, BOOKS.
Can we talk about false labor? I've had it with false labor. I think false labor should shut up, curl up and die. And then set itself on fire.
I never had false labor last time. Oh sure, I had plenty of Braxton-Hicks contractions here and there. One time I actually had three whole contractions in a row and got super excited, but even that was over and done with in about 20 minutes.
This pregnancy, though. Gaaaaaaah. I'm petrified of being That Woman who becomes utterly convinced she's in labor and shows up at the hospital ready to have herself a darn baby, only to be sent home because it was a false alarm. (Seriously, I'm having anxiety dreams about that -- one dream involved a nurse telling me I was 3 centimeters dilated and an anesthesiologist inserting the epidural...right before my doctor showed up and announced that no, I WASN'T dilated at all, and then he yanked the epidural out and told me to go home.)
No, when I say "false labor" I mean an hours-long song-and-dance that does a PRETTY GOOD JOB of imitating the real thing. Regular, steady contractions. Five minutes apart. That keep coming whether you're lying down or standing up or chugging water or...or...eating an entire bag of Halloween candy. You know, in case it's just a bunch of those chocolate-deficiency contractions all the kids are talking about.
Last night, as I entered hour two or three of steady and extremely uncomfortable uterine activity, I packed my hospital bag and ordered my husband to round up all our camera batteries and cell phone chargers and tried to calmly figure out what in the WORLD we were supposed to do with our toddler in the middle of the night, with our on-call family members being up in BOSTON for the week, since why not? I'm more than three weeks away from my due date, we won't need them yet! Ha ha! Silly humans.
Needless to say, I am still pregnant. We did not drop our son off on anyone's doorstep, ring a doorbell and scream WE OWE YOU ONE at the bleary-eyed friend who answered before driving off to the hospital. The contractions tapered off sometime after midnight, and while my husband poked me awake several times throughout the night to make sure the baby and I were still okay ("WE'RE FINE. WE'RE SLEEPING. RAWR."), there is no real indication that I will experience the real thing before my appointed time in a few weeks.
So...how DO you tell the false labor from the real thing? Sometimes, it's really hard. While I love to make fun of movies' portrayals of pregnant women (you know, where EVERYBODY'S water breaks ultra-dramatically before they've even had a single contraction, or a woman feels one small twinge in her abdomen and announces that, without a doubt, "IT'S TIME!" and everybody rushes off like chickens with their heads cut off towards the hospital), I can totally see how and why women DO end up at the hospital over false alarms. But here are a few indicators that might help you figure out if you're experiencing false labor:
1) Your contractions are not coming at regular intervals, or are not consistent in their intensity or length. If one contraction has you doubled over in pain, but the next one is more of a mild twinge, and then the next one is really long but somewhere in between the first two on the pain scale, it's probably not active labor.
2) You don't notice any progression in the timing or pain of your contractions. My doctor told me flat-out that he wouldn't consider sending me to the hospital unless I was having contractions at three minutes apart for at least an hour. (Your doctor might have a different standard -- be sure to ASK if you don't know.) So even though my contractions started at five minutes apart, I waited. And waited. And they remained steady at five minutes apart, and they were not getting more painful or intense as the hours went by. In "real" labor, contractions get steadily closer together and more painful as your cervix dilates. Holding-pattern contractions generally mean there's nothing going on with your cervix, so just stay home and ride it out.
3) Your contractions stop and start, or change depending on what you're doing. The first rule of Braxton-Hicks contractions is to LIE DOWN, PUT YOUR FEET UP, DRINK WATER. This usually causes things to settle down. I continued to contract while lying down for awhile, but eventually I did get a brief 20-minute reprieve. They started up again and were more painful once I started walking around, which also told me that, no matter how nice it would be to have a baby already, it wasn't gonna happen that night.
4) You haven't passed the mucus plug or noticed any bloody show. At some point -- usually right before labor begins or at the onset of actual active labor -- you'll notice a fairly substantial amount of pink or blood-tinged mucus come out your vagina, often times after using the bathroom. It's...uh...hard to miss. I lost most of the mucus plug about 24 hours before going into labor last time, and then continued to lose more and more of it once labor really got going. (This is what gets called bloody show, which is just...exactly what it sounds like, and one of the many reasons you may notice that us mom types tend to lose most of our sense of shame after giving birth. I mean, once you've left a trail of THAT across a clean hospital floor in front of your husband and family members and God and everybody else, it's hard to imagine caring about a silly thing like DIGNITY anymore.)
5) Your water hasn't broken. This one is probably the least useful, however, because contrary to what the movies show, only about 10% of women actually experience the dramatic gush of fluid before labor begins. Usually you'll know you're in labor by the time it happens, or your practitioner will break your water for you with a big crochet-hook-like thing. So...this one is more of an indication that you ARE in real, active labor. (Although...GAH. I have also spent a lot of time Googling "how can i tell if my water has broken or if this is just more assorted pregnancy fluids of mystery?") (Surprise! Just more assorted pregnancy fluids of mystery.)
Finished with this Pregnancy Calendar and Want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Special Advertising Offer: Our friends at Zulily, the sales event site, are giving our readers a $10 discount to be used on a first purchase. Sign up as a new member through this special link and use the promo code ALPHAMOM10.]]>
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Week Thirty-Fivetag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.16012008-09-16T20:48:25Z2010-03-11T16:24:53ZWe've reached that point in the pregnancy where prenatal care is increased. Yep, more visits to your OB or midwife. Every week now. And, more routine physical exams and otherwise. Find out how Amalah is feeling. Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Is over five pounds now, although these weight guesstimates will start getting very useless very quickly over the next few weeks.
Since most of your baby's organs are fully functional and major developmental milestones behind him or her, the next month is all about weight gain. And since "normal" weights for newborns these days can be anything between six and 10 pounds, it's hard to predict how big YOUR baby will be from here on in.
You:
Are the very picture of motherly grace and beauty. Also: waddling.
Fatigue may be a big problem right now. You may need a daily nap, or find yourself crawling into bed by 9 pm. (I can barely make it to my toddler's 8:30 bedtime most nights.) And while I've always seethed at people who love to cheerfully remind pregnant women to "Get some sleep! Once the baby's here you won't get any sleep!" I have to say...dude, get some sleep.
So. 35 weeks. Five more weeks to go. A little over a month. I've always found that reaching weeks 35 and 36 is a big mental milestone, as (depending on the pregnancy math) I suddenly find myself looking at just one more flip of the calendar. And I no longer have to include the MONTH when I tell people my due date.
"The 15th," I can say. With September 15th behind us, it's clear that yes, I am in the homestretch.
But beyond my own little strange tics, the only real change this week is in your prenatal care. You'll start seeing your OB or midwife every week instead of every two weeks from now on. (At least until you hit your due date, and at that point you'll be seen every couple days or so for even closer monitoring.)
At one of these visits, between now and week 37, you'll get a lovely little poke with a cotton swab down there (in BOTH places down there, actually) to check for Group B streptococci. Group B strep is a harmless bacteria for adults, and 10 to 30 percent of pregnant women carry it without even knowing it. BUT if you pass it on to your baby during birth, it's bad. Whole heaping mess of problems bad. BUT BUT, a positive culture generally just means you'll get an IV on antibiotics during labor to reduce the odds of giving it to your baby.
What else will your doctor be checking for at these weekly visits? Well, the usual blood pressure cuff and pee-in-a-cup business, first and foremost. A sudden spike in your blood pressure and/or protein in your urine is often a telltale sign of pre-eclampsia, which causes your blood vessels to constrict and deny blood to your vital organs. It can set in VERY VERY QUICKLY during late pregnancy, and the only cure is to deliver your baby. I've known a few women who have shown up, completely innocently and feeling completely fine, to a routine prenatal visit only to get a one-way ticket to the hospital for a date with magnesium sulfate and pitocin and an emergency induction. So...you know. Don't start skipping appointments, think about getting that hospital bag ready, and make sure your labor coach is reachable at all times.
(I very recently chewed my husband OUT over his voice mail because he went out to run errands and left his phone in the car, because WHAT IF I WAS IN LABOR RIGHT NOW? HUH? WHAT IF I NEEDED YOU RIGHT THIS SECOND? I SWEAR I WILL STAPLE THAT PHONE TO YOUR FOREHEAD IF I HAVE TO.)
(I wasn't in labor, but I DID need to remind him to pick up a nice pitcher so I could make sangria for a dinner party and NEEDLESS TO SAY, he forgot to buy a pitcher.)
Your doctor will also do abdominal exams to check on your baby's size and position. This is totally NOT an exact science, but OBs and midwives can make pretty good guesses about which direction your baby is lying and whether your baby has "dropped" into your pelvis. They may start complimenting you on your birthin' hips or warning you about your narrow pelvis. You can take all of this with a shaker of salt.
(And this also goes for late-pregnancy ultrasounds, which can be off by your baby's weight by up to two pounds in EITHER direction. I was told Noah would be about
8 pounds. He was closer to 10. But on the flipside, I also know women who were sent right from an ultrasound to an induction because of fears of a big, unmanageable baby, only to birth a perfectly reasonably-sized 7-pounder.)
They may also start internal exams soon, which are LOVELY and COMFORTABLE and sort of YOWIE, to check for any cervical activity. Again, this can seem more momentous than it actually is. Some women start dilating weeks before they actually give birth, showing up every week as 1 or 2 centimeters dilated, and some women can show zero progress at a morning appointment but be fully dilated and pushing a baby out by dinnertime.
Oh Yeah, THIS: Unless I keep my feet elevated for several hours a day, my ankles and feet swell. If I don't take my rings off at night, my fingers plump up around them like sausages by morning. I've always been a big lover and consumer of sodium, but now it's time for water and more water and pillows propped up under my feet.
New This Time Around: This baby is feisty. I swear he moves more than Noah every did, and he moves in a crazy, pointy, VISIBLE way. There's always a body part or two sticking out of my belly -- elbows and knees and feet, and twice now, I swear I've actually been able to identify not just his feel, but his actual individual TOES. (Jason felt them too and can vouch for this. I mean, TOES. TOOOOOES!) Noah was always just various vague bumps and lumps of mystery -- maybe the placenta was in the way? My uterus was thicker and hardier before labor and a c-section? Or maybe I was just a little too weirded out by the lumps and bumps to spend as much time poking and feeling and contemplating them?
Finished with the Pregnancy Calendar and want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Week Thirty-Fourtag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.15692008-09-09T22:06:44Z2010-03-11T16:25:18ZSo. Does everyone have their Birth Plan written up yet? Have you typed it? Double-spaced it? Printed up back-up copies and filed one with the county courthouse and gotten one notarized?Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Weighs as much as your average cantaloupe (4.75 pounds-ish) and is almost 18 inches long.
Reaching the 34-week mark is a big milestone for anyone concerned about pre-term labor, as babies born at this stage usually do just fine (provided they're otherwise healthy). Other than a slightly longer stay at the hospital, they generally don't experience any of the long-term health problems that prematurity can cause.
That said, don't let your baby go and get any big ideas about escaping just yet. More baby fat and a few more weeks of lung maturity will still make everybody's lives easier.
You:
Fatigue, heartburn, nausea, frequent trips to the bathroom. It's like the Return of the First Trimester, only much bigger and rounder and gruntier.
Don't forget to do your Kegel exercises, not only in preparation for childbirth but also to stop the unfortunate peeing-when-you-laugh-or-sneeze phenomenon, which can get pretty out of hand in these final weeks.
The Birth Plan
So. Does everyone have their Birth Plan written up yet? Have you typed it? Double-spaced it? Printed up back-up copies and filed one with the county courthouse and gotten one notarized?
Yes, I am a little bit snarky when it comes to the Birth Plan.
Not that I don't understand and agree with the logic behind a detailed Birth Plan -- I'm all for removing the fear from childbirth, for helping mothers feel empowered and in control of their bodies and the entire situation, and for doctors respecting their patients' desires to go natural or stay upright and out of bed or have immediate post-delivery skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding or whatever the hell they want. All for all of that.
It's just that I've also seen the Birth Plan morph into something terrifyingly inflexible -- more like a woman trying to choreograph the birth down to the right song playing on the iPod. These ultra-detailed plans, with their high expectations and hopes for everything going so incredibly perfectly, sometimes seem more like the mother-to-be is trying to obsessively checklist her fears away rather than work through them with her midwife or doctor, or perhaps confront her instincts that her OB is not the sort who will respect even the most basic of her wishes. And even worse, anything that deviates from the Birth Plan will often get classified as failure.
Look, they don't give out medals in the maternity ward. There's no I Avoided The Episiotomy wall of fame bulletin board and they don't put little stickers on the babies' foreheads to distinguish whose mother had an epidural or not. (Although I do remember seeing a sticker on Noah's bassinet chart that read "I'm a breastfed boy!", but somehow I doubt the bottle-fed babies' stickers featured frowny judgement faces, or anything.)
Obviously, birth choices are personal. And important, to a degree. We all have our preferences and images of how we'd like childbirth to happen -- hospital, home, birthing center, water, dolphins, whatever. And you absolutely should voice your wishes and concerns with everyone involved in the experience. But like motherhood, childbirth requires a certain acceptance that you cannot control every aspect of it, and that sometimes you simply must stop and reassess things. Be it your own tolerance for pain or your baby's well-being. And you need to be able to reassess these things without feeling like you...gag...FAILED. Seriously, THEY DON'T GIVE YOU GRADES.
If you had asked me for a birth plan before my son was born, I would have probably started AND finished it with the epidural. I was certain I'd want it right away. I did not want to be miserable and in pain. Oh, that and breastfeeding as soon as possible. And I was pretty terrified of c-sections. So...let's try to avoid one of those.
Then I went into labor and discovered that I could handle the contractions after all, and that I found the whole thing incredibly amazing and empowering. I started thinking of going all the way unmedicated, but changed my mind at the very last minute (9 centimeters), when it was confirmed that the baby was badly positioned (occiput posterior), fairly large (macrosomia) and very, very high up in my abdomen. Lots of pushing in my future. I needed some rest.
So I reversed courses AGAIN and got the epidural after all and fell asleep for a little bit. Then I woke up and pushed and pushed, until alarms started going off and the baby wouldn't budge any further down the birth canal and his heartrate started to plummet with each contraction. Time to reassess again. C-section time.
As I breastfed my 9 pound, 15 ounce son for the first time in the recovery area, I did have a few minutes when I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. My childbirth experience was nothing like I had expected or planned for. When I tell the story to other women, it almost sounds like a worst-case scenario to them. But it really wasn't. It was amazing. I'm completely happy and at peace with how it went and how it ended. I did what I could. I experienced everything I really wanted to, but in the end, it was never about me and what kind of transcendent empowering experience I wanted. It was about a safe delivery of a healthy baby, full stop. And I got that. Oh, yes, I got that.
Oh Yeah, THIS: I'm done. I'm SO READY TO BE DONE. A few weeks ago the thought of being "done" was terrifying -- my due date was approaching much too quickly for my taste. I wasn't ready. I needed more time, GAH. I couldn't imagine feeling impatient and swore I would treasure every day of pregnancy because hoo boy, SO NOT READY TO BE DONE. And now I'm big and uncomfortable and awkward and just...just...DONE. Let's have a baby already!
New This Time Around: Oy, the heartburn. Nausea. Food aversions. All back in full force. If this keeps up until my due date, I'll have had exactly three months of NOT throwing up or suffering major gastrointestinal problems throughout the entire pregnancy. That is backwards as hell, and I would like to officially file a complaint with someone.
Finished with the Pregnancy Calendar and want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Week Thirty-Threetag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.12922008-09-02T20:57:39Z2010-03-11T16:27:14ZOKAY. FINE. HOSPITAL BAG PACKING TIME.
People have been begging for this one, and while I intended to save it until the week that I, you know, actually packed my hospital bag, apparently a whole lot of you prefer to be proactive and pack it super early. Or else you just plan to obsess about it for five or six more weeks. (That I kind of actually relate to.)Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Weighs over four pounds and is 17 inches long.
The skeleton is hardening, except for the skull, which will remain soft and flexible to allow it to fit through the birth canal, and also to grow and allow adequate space for your baby's enormously brilliant brain.
Kicks and movements are practically visible from space now, and you may look down and realize that your belly is no longer round, but pointed, as a knee or elbow stretches out for a few seconds before disappearing beneath the surface again.
You:
Are big. Yes. And the whole world may suddenly seem like it's got an opinion about when you'll go into labor, and it TOTALLY DOESN'T CARE that you aren't even full-term yet, it thinks you've dropped and popped and are going to give birth in like, two weeks. Tell it to shut the hell up with my blessings.
May be waddling more than walking, and misjudging your circumference as you bump into counters and knock things over on tables.
A lot of pregnant women start having strange dreams about those pronounced movements -- legs and arms stretching out from under your clothes, or the perfect imprint of your baby's face suddenly appearing next to your belly button. If these dreams creep you out, just remember that it's your mind starting to wrap itself around the concept that there is, in fact, a actual baby in there rather than some hypothetical concept of a baby.
Packing for the Hospital
OKAY. FINE. HOSPITAL BAG PACKING TIME.
People have been begging for this one, and while I intended to save it until the week that I, you know, actually packed my hospital bag, apparently a whole lot of you prefer to be proactive and pack it super early. Or else you just plan to obsess about it for five or six more weeks. (That I kind of actually relate to.)
If you're looking for a REALLY COMPREHENSIVE list -- a list that was written for the people, by the people -- look no further than this one, compiled by Emily at not that you asked... She asked for hospital bag packing tips from her readers, and OH, BUT THEY HAD TIPS. Lots and lots of tips. The resulting list is...long. Yes. And it would require quite a large suitcase to bring EVERYTHING there, but you should still definitely print that list out, read Emily's comments and reasoning for each item, and winnow your own priorities and list down from there.
That said, I also have My Own Opinions I Must Subject You To. It's in my contract. The one in my head. I take it very seriously.
STUFF I BROUGHT TO THE HOSPITAL THAT I COULDN'T HAVE LIVED WITHOUT:
Chapstick
Tennis ball for back massage during labor
Socks/slippers and a bathrobe. None of which made it home with me, thanks to The Grossness, but I was sooo glad to have them.
Fourteen million hair clips and rubber bands
Shampoo, face soap, deodorant, body lotion and makeup
Nursing pillow
Nipple cream
Camera, video camera, extra batteries and/or charging cord for both.
iPod
Cell phone
Super-stretchy non-abdomen-pinchy maternity clothes for wearing home
STUFF I BROUGHT TO THE HOSPITAL THAT I SHOULD HAVE LEFT AT HOME:
Books, magazines, blank thank-you cards, journal, Soduku puzzles. My brain was SO FRIED in the aftermath and I was unable to concentrate on anything, including Us Weekly. I spent my downtime staring into space or sleeping instead.
My own nightgown. Again, The Grossness. You simply would not believe. I would rather befoul a dozen hospital gowns than my own clothing, no matter how old and junky it is. At least it was easy to call the nurse and request my fourth new gown in two hours -- I would have worn my own gown for 45 minutes before balling it up and hiding it in my room's wastebasket, or sending it home with instructions to Burn It And Never Speak Of This Again.
My own underwear and pads. Ditto.
Snacks. We made a special trip out for snacks. I was sure Jason would need snacks. Everyone tells you that your partner needs snacks! So we ended up with an entire plastic grocery bag of snacks that ended up mostly uneaten, save for maybe one granola bar. Jason lost his appetite during my labor (HA HA), and since I was put on a liquid diet after my emergency c-section, I would have cried if he'd eaten in front of me, so he went out for quick meals at nearby fast-casual restaurants instead. Sure, he lost 10 pounds during my four-day hospital stay, but it was mostly sympathy pregnancy weight that had to go anyway.
Nursing bra and breast pads. My milk didn't come in during my hospital stay. Better safe than sorry, I suppose, but I wish someone had told me that was actually even a possibility.
THINGS I DID NOT BRING TO THE HOSPITAL LAST TIME BUT WOULD HAVE KILLED FOR (aka Stuff I'm Bringing This Time, Yippee!):
Towels. I was so very excited about my first post-birth shower. I felt so gross and oily and dirty and...what the hell? All my hospital would offer me was ONE small, thin, scraggly-looking hand towel and a washcloth. No full-size towels. Useless. Yuck.
My own pillow. Hospital pillows are uncomfortable and flat. And I'm pretty sure I can keep a pillow clear of The Grossness. (I will probably bring it but leave it in the car until fully assessing the Pillow Situation and then demand it if I need it.)
Laptop. My hospital has wifi now! Maybe my brain will at least be capable of reading Us Magazine ONLINE.
Dry shampoo/baby powder. For making my oil-slick-head vaguely presentable before I'm allowed to take a shower.
Probiotic powder. This is mostly a c-section necessity -- you're given a round of antibiotics afterwards and this can increase your chances of getting a thrush/yeast infection from nursing.
Pacifier. I KNOW. Bad. Wrong. Nipple confusion, despair, woe, etc. I let my baby nurse and suck on me for hours and hours on end, even when my boobs were bone dry. I cracked and bled and almost quit nursing then and there. I'm giving myself permission to at least THINK about offering a pacifier instead of my nipple this time.
Sleep mask. Stupid lights and sunshine and whatever, I need mah SLEEP.
Another thing to consider bringing to the hospital? EXTRA SPACE IN YOUR BAG. You'll want to thoroughly ransack your room before you leave. I cannot stress this enough. Take everything. Diapers, wipes, nasal aspirators, plastic bins first-aid items, sanitary pads, mesh panties, bed pads, nipple creams, WHATEVER ISN'T NAILED DOWN. My nurse awesomely helped shove everything into a bag for me, explaining that my insurance technically paid for all this stuff already, and that they weren't allowed to reuse any of it for other patients. So take it! Take it all! It's swag! Only more...sterile.
Finished with the Pregnancy Calendar and want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Week Thirty-Twotag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.12802008-08-26T20:18:29Z2010-03-11T16:27:46ZYour Baby: Is about three pounds, 11 ounces and 16 inches long. Is starting to get pretty crowded in there, so you may feel more subtle, rolling-type movements instead of sharp pointy kicks. You: May notice a slight change in...Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Is about three pounds, 11 ounces and 16 inches long.
Is starting to get pretty crowded in there, so you may feel more subtle, rolling-type movements instead of sharp pointy kicks.
You:
May notice a slight change in your belly shape over the next few weeks -- kind of...downward sloping. Not so much of a nice shelf for your bowl of ice cream as you've had in the past.
This change also might signal the retirement of some of your maternity clothes and you'll need longer shirts instead of just roomy shirts. I can pretty much guarantee that the shirts that no longer fit will be the cutest ones, dammit.
STAY HYDRATED. KEEP YOUR FEET ELEVATED WHENEVER POSSIBLE. DON'T MAKE ME STOP THIS BLOG AND COME BACK THERE.
So! We had our first emergency visit to Labor & Delivery this week! Hooray! So glad I was able to check that one off of my to-do list.
I'm now officially 0-for-2 when it comes to Unnecessary Freaking Out Over Nothing Hospital Trips, since I went to Labor & Delivery at 23-ish weeks during my first pregnancy because I was convinced that I was leaking amniotic fluid. Which I was not. Was it mucus? Urine? I don't know. I don't really feel like I need to know. You know?
This time, it was blood and a lot of tenderness in my lower back. And in my head, I knew it was a urinary tract infection. (Pale pink, watery, only present after peeing.) I knew I could most likely wait until my doctor's office opened the next morning and everything would be fine. I had the doppler, I heard the heartbeat, I knew this baby occasionally has a quiet day with no real movement or kicking.
I also knew that if I didn't go to the hospital to get everything checked out, I would be wide awake all night, wracked with worry and fear and guilt and eventually I would probably work myself into a Total Freaking State sometime around 4 am and insist that we go to the hospital Right That Minute, so...in the grand scheme of things it seemed like going to the hospital at 9 pm instead was the SENSIBLE CHOICE.
And you know what? That's always the sensible choice. Don't ever, ever feel silly or foolish for calling your doctor after hours. Don't ever feel like you're inconveniencing anyone when you have even the slightest reason to worry that everything is not okay. I don't care if it's just a hunch or a "bad feeling." That baby is in YOUR BODY and you know best, even if you're just a terrified first-timer who mistakes gas for contractions. Call. Go. Get checked out.
I'm sure the doctors and nurses at L&D have seen it all -- every possible harmless symptom of neurotic paranoia...but also what happens when a mother DOES wait too long to get checked out. Guess which scenario they prefer.
In fact, one of the symptoms on the "Call Your Doctor Immediately, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200" list the hospital discharged me with was, no lie, Complaint of "not feeling well." Well, that's certainly...specific.
And yet...clearly the only way the hospital is able to classify the mysterious yet invaluable diagnostic tool known as "mother's intuition." Yep, you've already got it, mama. Don't ever ignore it.
Oh Yeah, THIS: You know, I've had a lot of UTIs in my day. Dozens. Hundreds. Dozens of hundreds! And yet I've experienced blood in my urine exactly twice. While pregnant, both times. That seems distinctly not-cool to me. Don't I have enough to worry about going on down there?
New This Time Around: Thank God for AZO cranberry tablets
and AZO at-home Urinary Tract Infection Test Strips. The tablets are easier to remember AND choke down than gallon after gallon of cranberry juice, and the test strips at least give me an indication of how my body is fighting off the infection. (Currently: white blood cell count is still SLIGHTLY elevated, indicating things are still a tad inflamed, but the nitrate test is negative for bacteria.) (I'm sorry, did you not WANT to hear about my pee, or something?)
Finished with the Pregnancy Calendar and want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Special Advertising Offer: Our friends at Zulily, the sales event site, are giving our readers a $10 discount to be used on a first purchase. Sign up as a new member through this special link and use the promo code ALPHAMOM10.
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Week Thirty-Onetag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.12672008-08-19T19:00:34Z2010-03-11T16:28:43ZYour Baby: Blah blah blah 3.3 pounds, bag of oranges, sock full of nickels, etc. Enjoys yawning, sucking his or her thumb, kicking mom in the diaphragm. Turn-offs include: getting the hiccups, really loud noises and you trying to do...Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Blah blah blah 3.3 pounds, bag of oranges, sock full of nickels, etc.
Enjoys yawning, sucking his or her thumb, kicking mom in the diaphragm.
Turn-offs include: getting the hiccups, really loud noises and you trying to do all that boring "sleeping" at night.
You:
Can totally round down your answer to "two months" when people ask you how much longer you have to go. DO NOT focus on the crazy week-to-month-ratio math at this point in pregnancy, particularly when there are breakable, smashy objects within reach.
May be weirdly and inexplicably congested all the time. I, for one, appear to be allergic to my pillow. This is also prime time for pregnancy colds, as the toll on your body and immune system is getting higher by the week. Take it easy, slow down, take your vitamins and try try try to get enough sleep.
Can now play everybody's favorite game, Guess The Body Part That's Sticking Out Next To My Belly Button! Elbow or heel? Head or butt? Did I seriously just maybe feel my baby's BIG TOE?
Preparing for Maternity Leave
So. Maternity leave. That.
As a rule of thumb, if you're working and pregnant and working while pregnant, it's best NOT to make any promises to your boss about your leave until AFTER you've had a sit-down with Human Resources.
I was stupidly, colossally naive about my company's leave policies -- I knew we got "12 weeks" but I thought I would actually GET PAID for those 12 weeks. I didn't realize that those 12 weeks really only included a few weeks of short-term disability (which pays out a percentage of your earnings, and the length depends on whether you have a vaginal or cesarean delivery) and any of my OWN vacation/sick/personal time I had on hand (barely two weeks, provided I worked up until the day I gave birth). Combining the STD and the vacation time resulted in about eight weeks of full or partial pay. I was certainly free to stay home the full 12 weeks without fear of losing my job, but I was looking at four solid weeks of zero pay. I had to go back to my boss and temper my original plan of 12 weeks of "don't even THINK of bothering me until I am physically back at the office" with a not-very-subtle plea for some part-time hourly work to get us over that unpaid hump.
So. If you haven't already, pick up the phone and call your HR person right this second and schedule a face-to-face meeting about EXACTLY what leave options and benefits your company offers. THEN go home and map out a workable plan with your partner (can we afford a few weeks without pay? should we start full-time/part-time childcare sooner? what's more important -- that last babymoon weekend in Vegas or having those vacation days post-baby? what kind of leave can YOU take, and should you take it all at once or spread it out?). THEN go to your boss and tell him or her about your plans and requests and what-have-you.
If you're unsure about your plans AFTER your maternity leave is up, it's generally best to say you plan to return full-time until you make up your mind. If you know you'd like to return part-time, then by all means step up and ask. (I think a lot of companies tend to assume they'll lose mothers after maternity leave and are oftentimes thrilled to hear that they can prevent you from quitting completely.) (And other companies are complete douchecanoes. Hopefully you know which kind you work for and can plan your approach accordingly.)
But if you aren't sure either way -- full-time, part-time, quittin'-time -- leave the door open for yourself. You may be shocked by your own reaction to motherhood and find that what you PLANNED isn't actually what you WANT anymore. (If you told me I was going to want ANYTHING other than going back to work full-time before Noah was born I would have said that you were one goddamn crazy honky cat. And look at me now! Wait, don't. I haven't showered yet.)
And on that smelly note, there's obviously more to maternity leave than HR logistics. Some women -- okay, probably most women, deep down -- are a little terrified of that looooong stretch of downtime. Just you and a squalling, helpless infant. Days of poop and thunder. Watching your partner get to shower and put on nice clothes and go interact with adult human beings all day while you...God, what WILL you do?
You're going to go buy The Rookie Mom's Handbook, for one thing. I didn't have any new or newish mom friends during my maternity leave, and it showed. I rarely left the house, I couldn't make and keep lunch plans to save my life, I had multiple days that ended in tears because I just felt so scattered and useless and unaccomplished.
(My husband soon learned to never, EVER ask me "So what did you do today?" because the question would send me into defensive, woeful hysterics. "I KEPT YOUR SON ALIVE, THAT'S WHAT I DID!" I'd wail, when really, he was just wondering if I tried that new coffee drink at Starbucks.)
Anyway. I wish I'd had friends like Heather and Whitney (the authors of <said book, this book, the Rookie Mom's Handbook) to leave little Post-Its around with ideas for filling your days during the first couple months, or even just FEELING like you've filled your day. (My favorite activity from the Month One chapter: Write a "did do" list instead of a "to do" list. I'm totally a list person AND the sort who likes to add things I've already done just to cross them off and feel accomplished, and yet it never occurred to me to do that during my maternity leave.)
Now I'm just waiting for the sequel -- The Second Time Around Mom Who Still Doesn't Know What She's Doing And Is Mostly Hoping She'll Remember To Brush Her Teeth Most Days' Handbook.Oh Yeah, THIS: Heartburn! Terrible, hideous, words-cannot-describe-it heartburn. There really is nothing quite like the heartburn one gets when one's torso is simply too crowded to contain both a stomach and a stomach with food in it.
New This Time Around: That said, I don't think I ever had heartburn bad enough last time that I thought I was dying and should consider driving to the hospital, nor did my husband ever attempt to TIME MY WAVES OF HEARTBURN because he said I was acting exactly like I did when I was in labor.
Finished with the Pregnancy Calendar and want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Week Thirtytag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.12522008-08-12T19:35:27Z2010-03-11T16:29:18ZYour Baby: Weighs about three pounds and is 17 inches long. Since most full-term babies are between 20 and 22 inches long at 40 weeks' gestation, your baby will pack on more pounds than inches in the 10 weeks or...Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Weighs about three pounds and is 17 inches long. Since most full-term babies are between 20 and 22 inches long at 40 weeks' gestation, your baby will pack on more pounds than inches in the 10 weeks or so.
Is starting to get a little crowded in there, but still has room to wiggle and roll and punch and kick.
Despite all the movement, it's still damn near impossible to tell what position your baby is in for sure (head down, breech, transverse, etc.), but it's also still too early to be worrying about it. MOST babies settle into a head-down position around 36 weeks, and some still manage to flip themselves around after that.
You:
May feel like you're gestating a pissed-off housecat rather than a chubby wittle baby at this point, with some movement and kicks causing ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN. Some women experience kicks so sharp and unnerving they mistake them for uterine contractions, even if they've already been through pregnancy and labor and should really know better.
Some of these women may even write pregnancy guides on the Internet.
Cord Blood Storage
I recently noticed something very odd, something very different about this pregnancy. Over 30 weeks in, and I've yet to receive a single solicitation from the cord blood banks. Last time, the emails came at least weekly. Then daily. Then the phone calls started. Offers of free information kits, sweepstakes drawings, $100 off the collection fee, before-you-hang-up-here's-my-supervisor-with-an-even-better-offer high pressure sales calls.
This time, nothing, save for a half-hearted offer of a brochure at a maternity store.
Cord blood banking, as the name suggests, involves the collection and storage of your newborn's umbilical cord blood. Tasty, delicious, stem-cell-rich cord blood. These unformed stem cells have the ability to turn into mature blood cells -- and could save the life of someone who needs a bone marrow transplant, and possibly other diseases, since stem-cell research remains in its infancy, really. Three years ago, it was heralded as the greatest life insurance policy you could buy for your child and family.
Of course, this policy comes with a steep price tag -- anywhere from $1,000 to $2,000 for the initial collection, plus a yearly storage fee of at least $100, plus other additional fees that can quickly add up. While many new parents are horrified at the idea of letting a little thing like TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS affect a decision that could SAVE THEIR BABY'S LIFE, it is a lot of money. Let's put on our calm, rational thinking caps here.
1) Cord-blood banking is generally only recommended for families with a known history of certain diseases, or who already have a relative suffering from such a disease who could benefit from the cells. These diseases include leukemia or lymphoma, aplastic anemia, severe sickle cell anemia, and severe combined immune deficiency. It's nice to dream about a future where stem cells will be able to wipe out pretty much any disease known to man, but for now, that's the list.
2) The odds that your baby will actually be able to use his or her own umbilical cord blood are low. Again, this is tempered by the relative "newness" of cord blood banking and transplants, but for now the statistics just don't exist for patients receiving their own cord blood to prove that it's better, safer or at all effective. (Some experts point out that a sick baby who receives his or her own stem cells during a transplant could very well just develop the disease all over again.)
3) Stem-cell transplants are generally only done on children and teenagers, since the amount collected at birth is simply too small for most adult transplants. (The larger the person, the more cells are needed for an effective transplant.) C-section deliveries generally yield an even smaller number of usable cells, since the collection usually can't happen until after the mother's uterus has been sewn up. If your family has a history of childhood cancers or an older sibling needs a bone marrow transplant, cord-blood collection may be a no-brainer. But parents who are being pitched on banking as a lifelong investment in bionic super health (stem cells can, theoretically, be stored forever) need to know that the window of actual usability is limited by the patient's age.
4) Another unknown (for now, anyway) is whether or not a cord blood donation from a relative is any better or more effective than one from an unrelated donor, which happens successfully all the time. Stem cells are truly "blank" cells; highly adaptable and at low risk for rejection. Unlike organ transplants, there's no need for a "perfect" stem cell match for a successful transplant.
5) That said, parents of racially or ethnically diverse children may want to bank cord blood because it IS statistically harder to find a bone marrow match in these cases. The National Marrow Donor Program specifically encourages cord blood donations from the following communities, where there is often a critical shortage of matching marrow donors:
Black and African American
American Indian and Alaska Native
Asian
Native Hawaiian and other Pacific Islander
Hispanic and Latino
Multiple race
Donating Cord Blood
And on that note, what about donating your baby's cord blood? Why, sure! And become a marrow donor yourself, while you're at it. (It's easy and painless, done with a single swab of your cheek, full details here.) The full and extensive list of FAQs for cord blood donation can be found here.
It's important to read and process them all -- it's best to set up your donation by the 34th week of pregnancy, donations from twins and multiples are not accepted, and only about 50% of donations can actually be stored for transplantation because cord blood units do yield such small amounts. However, while the American Academy of Pediatrics believes "storing cord blood as 'biological insurance' should be discouraged because there currently is no scientific data to support (self) autologous transplantation," they DO encourage donating the blood to public banks, both for transplants and research purposes. And no, it costs you nothing to donate your baby's cord blood, other than a few phone calls to make arrangements before you give birth.
Finished with the Pregnancy Calendar and want more? Visit Amalah's postpartum weekly column, Bounce Back. Bounce Back is about the postpartum experience -- the good, the bad and the gory.
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Week Twenty-Ninetag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.12412008-08-05T21:25:47Z2010-03-11T16:29:53ZYour Baby: Is big and strong enough to resemble a sinister alien thrashing around your abdomen, as my husband kindly pointed out recently, upon noticing a rouge pointy elbow jabbing up and down around my belly button. Is sucking up...Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Is big and strong enough to resemble a sinister alien thrashing around your abdomen, as my husband kindly pointed out recently, upon noticing a rouge pointy elbow jabbing up and down around my belly button.
Is sucking up every drop of calcium you can provide as his or her bones continue to harden and become more...uh...bone-like.
DID I MENTION THE POINTY JABBING? WITH THE SHARP LITTLE BONES?
You:
Might start noticing a resurgence of first-trimester-type symptoms like heartburn and other gastrointestinal issues. Things are getting a BIT crowded in there, and the lack of room means slower digestion and more gas and constipation and woe.
Are gaining weight. I don't know or care to look up what the "recommended" amount is at this stage, but most likely you are starting to notice a steady upward movement of that little thingie on your doctor's scale. If you've been using pregnancy as a dietary sweet tooth free-for-all, now might be a good time to start reining it in and focusing on healthy foods and portions instead of "BABY NEEDS CAKE AND A TUB OF FROSTING ON THE SIDE."
Sex During Pregnancy
So you know how almost EVERY movie about pregnancy and childbirth contains a "hilarious" scene where the knocked-up couple attempt to have sex? And how it almost ALWAYS ends with one or both of them freaking out over fears that the male will poke the baby's eye out with his penis or some other scenario that demonstrates either a 1) terrible grasp on the internal female anatomy, or an 2) EXTREMELY inflated opinion on the length of said penis?
I have no patience for these scenes. Even before I ever got pregnant, I knew enough about the vagina/cervix/womb layout to know that sex does not hurt, scare or inconvenience a fetus in any way (provided your pregnancy is, for the most part, complication free).
And yet it's taken me WEEKS to work up the squeamish resolve to write openly about the S-E-X during the P-R-E-G-N-A-N-C-Y, because...well, let's face it. Even without the old penis-shaped head-dent jokes, pregnancy sex does pose a few challenges, especially here in the jolly third trimester.
THE GOOD: Well, a LOT of pregnant women report a nice libido spike, particularly as the misery of the first trimester fades. And this spike is often accompanied by increased wetness AND sensitivity down there. (And by down there I mean in your V-A-G-I-N-A. My God, don't I sound like a prude). Your boobs also benefit from some added sensitivity, and contrary to the stick-figures-who-probably-don't-even-menstruate in the fashion mags, most men (and women, hell) are wired to actually prefer the soft womanly curves that accompany pregnancy. You might FEEL fat and beached-whaley, but your partner probably thinks you've never looked sexier.
THE BAD: Well. You still might feel fat and beached-whaley. You may be able to admire yourself in the mirror with wonder and awe, but getting naked and friction-happy with another person can turn that wonder and awe into self-consciousness and embarrassment. The sensitivity can sometimes be too much. (My husband loves my pregnant boobs, but I want to punch anyone who touches them.) And then there's the bloody LOGISTICS. Your favorite positions might not work anymore, and trying to find comfortable alternatives can feel a bit like playing Tetris. AND, fine, you might know for a fact that sex during pregnancy is fine and normal and safe, but there is still the mental barrier of THE CHILD in your uterus being all...THERE and PRESENT and VULNERABLE. "That WAS a lot of jostling," you might think afterwards, while you dash to the bathroom for the dozenth time to examine some mysterious post-sex leakage. (With your cervix and uterus tightly sealed and closed off, there's...ahem...kind of nowhere else for semen to go but...right back out. I wish someone had told me that. So much for my haughty knowledge of my own girl-parts.)
Obviously, we modern girls have plenty of ways to muddle through pregnancy sex. There's more to the bedroom life than the missionary position, oral sex is practically vanilla these days and yeah, I'm happy to accept a little battery-powered help. So yes, let us all bask in the gentle maternal glow of this wonderful time in our lives, but let us also not forget to get our freak on, or whatever it is the kids call it these days. (And by "it" I mean O-R-G-A-S-M-S and can you tell that I don't write about sex that much? I am a delicate little flower. Painted by Georgia O'Keefe. You know. The ones that look like V-A-G-I-N-A-S.)
Now, if you'll excuse me, a mysterious package from Victoria's Secret was just deposited at my front door, and while I know my husband has repeatedly insisted that he finds pregnancy to be insanely sexy, I simply MUST go immediately investigate what sort of lingerie he's purchased, because frankly it boggles my mind a little bit.
Oh Yeah, THIS: I tried to paint my own toenails this week (in my customary place of on the couch, with my feet propped up on the coffee table) and was stupidly surprised when I leaned forward a little and *BLAM* my belly hit my thighs and the polish brush remained a good three inches away from my toes. (I moved to the bottom stair where I could spread my legs and dip my belly in between them. Damn, but aren't I the fancy lady.)
New This Time Around: After months of prompting and training, our efforts are finally paying off. Our babysitter reported that Noah excitedly showed her around "Baby Brother's" room. When asked where, exactly, Baby Brother is right now, he thought for a second and then pulled up his shirt. "Right there!" he announced, pointing at his belly. So...okay. Maybe he's a little hazy on some of the details, but still. It's something.
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Week Twenty-Eighttag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.12272008-07-29T20:15:30Z2010-03-11T16:30:48ZYour Baby: Continues to get a longer and fatter by the day. Shocking, I know. His or her weight has actually doubled in the past month alone, which is why you've probably gotten comments about "popping" recently. Weight is around...Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Continues to get a longer and fatter by the day. Shocking, I know. His or her weight has actually doubled in the past month alone, which is why you've probably gotten comments about "popping" recently.
Weight is around 2.5 pounds right now, which (if you're like me, gazing in horror and your inside-out belly button and spidery stretch marks) might sound a little frightening, since the baby clearly needs to gain a LOT MORE WEIGHT before he or she is fully cooked, and oh my God, how in the world is anything bigger going to fit in there?
You:
Are either feeling like this pregnancy will NEVER end, or that 12 more weeks is simply not nearly enough time to prepare. Or you might feel both ways, changing your mind one minute to the next.
Must move furniture and fold clothes and organize the linen closet and replace the bathroom vanity and finally get rid of that sooty stain on the marble fireplace and yes, DARLING, these are all essential tasks that MUST be completed before the baby gets here, DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME, NOW GO HANG UP SOME SHELVES.
What is Colostrum?
So I was all set to include some excited-sounding instructions that y'all go squeeze your boobs this week, in order to witness the crazy whoa-ness that is leaking colostrum, but then I decided to double-check the statistics on that one. And I'm glad I did. Turns out some of y'all have probably been able to perform that trick since your 12th week. And some don't even have to squeeze -- you just LEAK. And others won't see a drop of breastmilk until some point after giving birth.
And you're all totally normal. Last time I fretted that the fairly subtle changes in my boob size were a terrible harbinger of breastfeeding failure. And then when I started noticing the leaking watery colostrum (the very earliest fluid that your breasts produce for your baby's first few days before your "real" calorie-rich milk comes in) at some point in the early third trimester, I worried that it was a sign that my body was preparing to give birth prematurely.
(My LANDS, was there anything I didn't worry about last time?)
I didn't give birth early, but I did have an uphill struggle with breastfeeding, but it was nothing I could have predicted based on my pregnancy boob observations. Colostrum or no, dramatic growth or very little at all, I don't think anyone can really predict who is going to effortlessly pop the baby on the boob from day one and who is going to struggle and need help. (Although women who have had breast surgery -- augmentation, reduction, or other -- and those with PCOS often have more troubles than other women, and may need extra helpful support in the early weeks.)
Interview a Lactation Consultant
That's why I encourage you to add "lactation consultant" to your list of Third Trimester Folks to Interview.
By now you should have your OB or midwife set (although, frankly, it's NEVER too late to switch practices or change your mind if you don't like how you're being treated or if other circumstances change). If you plan to use a doula (either for birth or postpartum), you should start meeting and interviewing candidates now. (Check out DONA International for more information and a directory.)
Interview a Pediatrician
You'll also need to start looking for a pediatrician, if you don't have one in mind already. Most hospitals won't discharge you unless you have your first Well Baby visit scheduled, so you'll want to have your practice chosen and the number programmed into your cell phone to call once the baby is born. I found the whole pediatrician thing to be Very Stressful (surprise!), especially since all the local practices that got the best word-of-mouth and recommendations from my friends did not accept our insurance. We ended up making our choice after attending several orientations/New Parents Nights that a few local practices offered. We were able to meet doctors and tour the offices, ask questions and take home lots of information about the practice (hours, how emergencies are handled, policies on vaccines, etc.)
We also ended up selecting our pediatrician because the practice offered...ta-da...two full-time lactation consultants on staff who were available to see all newborn patients. They also offered breast pump rentals and other breastfeeding supplies at cost. Both LCs were available by phone round-the-clock for all breastfeeding mothers, with no answering service or cell phone billing hoops to jump through. I was sold.
Picking the Right Lactation Consultant for You
It turned out, in the end, that I loved ONE of the lactation consultants, but had a lot of problems with the other. Bad bedside manner, mostly, and a tendency to send mixed messages (YOUR BABY IS STARVING WE MUST GIVE HIM FORMULA FAILURE TO THRIVE OMG one visit, and WE MUST GET YOUR BABY OFF THAT EVIL FORMULA GARBAGE RIGHT NOW OMG the next). So if I could do it all over again, I would have insisted on meeting BOTH lactation consultants at the practice, and then made my appointments with the kinder, less-militant woman whose personality was a little more up my tender, postpartum alley.
Oh Yeah, THIS: Stealth urinary tract infections. I FEEL perfectly fine, but my most recent test revealed that I've actually got a doozy of a UTI. Since frequent peeing and pressing oh-dayum urgency are par for the pregnancy course, UTIs are easy to miss. So don't skip your prenatal appointments and drink plenty of water and cranberry juice. (Cue "The More You Know" rainbow and theme song.)
New This Time Around: I cannot believe I'm having a baby in two months and change. My last pregnancy seemed to go on FOREVER, and this time I really feel like I just peed on that stick a few weeks ago. And I'm surprised at how completely unprepared and SO NOT READY I feel this time. I know what I'm getting into, I guess, and the overwhelming emotion going on right now is something along the lines of OH MY EFFING CRAP.
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Week Twenty-Seventag:www.alphamom.com,2008:/pregnancy-calendar//17.12082008-07-22T20:37:28Z2010-03-11T16:31:14Z Your Baby: Hey! Remember when I told you your baby was as big as a gummy bear? Oh, about 19 or 20 weeks ago? Now imagine a two-pound, 15-inch-long gummy bear. Yep. Eyelids (which have been fused since 11...Amyhttp://alphamom.com/smackdownYour Baby:
Hey! Remember when I told you your baby was as big as a gummy bear? Oh, about 19 or 20 weeks ago?
Now imagine a two-pound, 15-inch-long gummy bear. Yep.
Eyelids (which have been fused since 11 or 12 weeks) can now open and close.
You:
Are officially in the third trimester! Feel free to celebrate/panic at will.
May notice more of that pesky round ligament pain as your belly gets harder and bigger and rounder, or as it starts to dip down a little bit, looking a little less perky and cute than it did a few weeks ago.
Depending on your baby's position, the kicks and movements might be a little painful. Feet up under your ribcage, jabs to the cervix, random body parts of mystery poking you way off to the side, where you didn't even think those little appendages were long enough to reach.
Glucose Screen Test
I had my glucose screening this week, and I am happy to report that 1) I passed, and 2) it was not as terrible as last time. Don't quote me on this, but I think it maybe had something to do with the fact that I ate breakfast before chugging the sugary drink of sugary crash sugar goodness. I know! Where do I come up with these off-the-wall hypotheses?
Last time I showed up on an empty stomach. I thought that would be the best and easiest way to ensure that I didn't accidentally space out and put jelly on my toast or start eating spoonfuls directly from the sugar bowl (there's to be no sugar -- either refined or from fruit -- before you take the test). I gulped down the glucose drink in under a minute and experienced the trippiest hour this side of college, with a jittery rush of sugar and then an immediate zonking out on my doctor's couch. They woke me up for the blood test and sent me on my way to work, where I struggled to stay awake and alert before finally succumbing to a terrible migraine and went home.
This time I ate a piece of whole-grain toast with a little butter. The drink (which reminds me of that orange drink that McDonald's used to provide for my elementary school field days and such) made me very tired and sluggish, but it wasn't nearly as dramatic a crash. And no headache. So...if you haven't had the glucose screen yet, consider EATING SOME DAMN FOOD before you go. Good God. It's a wonder I don't just pass out cold from the force of my own brilliance.
Traveling When Pregnant
Speaking of passing out, I talked to my doctor about traveling at this stage of pregnancy. This was also exceedingly brilliant, since I'd already booked non-refundable airline tickets from D.C. to California. He gave me the thumbs up, saying that he's generally comfortable with pregnant women taking long trips until about 34 weeks (although most airlines will let you fly until 36 weeks domestically and 35 weeks internationally). If you have complications (problems with the placenta, for example, or are at risk for premature labor), then your doctor may give you an earlier cutoff for travel -- air or otherwise. Otherwise, you'll probably hear the same spiel I did:
STAY HYDRATED. Duh. And yet, easy to screw up and forget until it's too late, particularly with the 3-ounce liquid rules for air travel. After getting two unopened bottles of water confiscated from me on my last trip, I showed up at the airport empty handed, assuming I'd be able to stock up once I was through security and near my gate. Surprise! Things didn't go quite as planned, and by the time the plane was taking off, I was ridiculously parched and suffering from Braxton-Hicks contractions. FAIL.
DON'T FAINT. As if long lines at security checkpoints didn't already suck enough, they put you at an increased risk of fainting. Sit on your suitcase, if you can, and don't be afraid to loudly announce that you need help if you start blacking out. Fainting during pregnancy is really common and won't hurt your baby, but obviously big falls or smashing blow to your head is something you should try to avoid. I also messed up on this one, nearly blacking out at a standing-room-only party. My doctor would seriously give me an F in travel, if he read my blogs.
TOULA, EAT SOMETHING. It's easy to eat like crap when you travel. Fast food, impulse-buy candy bars, sugary breakfast pastries and all the soda and coffee your system can handle. The problem is you're asking your body for kind of a lot here -- anxiety, early-morning flights, heavy luggage, walking, standing and OH YEAH, CREATING PRECIOUS HUMAN LIFE -- so try to opt for the healthiest choices possible, or pack your own snacks. Avoid excess sugar and sodium in particular, and try to pack as much protein and food of real substance in instead.
WALK IT OUT. Okay, so while standing in one place for too long is bad, so is SITTING in one place for too long. I know, I know. Go ahead and bite your pillow because it's all just too much to remember. If you fly, try to get an aisle seat (also better for ALL THE PEEING you'll do as a result of staying so nicely hydrated) and walk the aisles at least once an hour. Don't cross your legs while seated. Once you're at your destination, try to spend as much time as possible with your feet elevated to prevent swelling.
(I had a middle seat on my way out to California, but was just so grateful to be on the plane at all that I didn't protest, but instead stared at my sleeping seatmate with Eyes of Intensity, looking for any sign that she was awake, and then jumping up and over her any time I saw her eyelids open. On the way back I had a WINDOW seat, which is pretty much the worst idea ever, since my belly and I simply did not fit while trying to climb over a pair of elderly grandmothers who were watching some awful cooking show that involved the innards of a chicken on their in-flight entertainment systems. Luckily, a flight attendant found me an aisle seat in the back of the plane where I was free to get up to urinate to my little heart's content.)
Oh Yeah, THIS: My sciatic nerve! Hello, old friend. I was wondering when you were going to show up and cause me UNBEARABLE PARALYZING PAIN.
New This Time Around: My sciatic nerve! Last time I would get the occasional searing bit of pain down my butt and through my thigh. I could usually walk it off or roll over in bed for it to let up. Now I'm getting these crazy, extended bouts of nerve pain in my lower back, butt and BOTH legs. I can't even move enough on my own to attempt to walk it off, and generally have just sat there and rocked and moaned until the baby decided to move his precious little self over a few centimeters and relieved me of the pain.
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Zero to Forty is a week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it. Consider it your internet BFF pregnancy guide.
If you look to your right, in the center column, you will see a listing for the 40 weeks of pregnancy under the heading "Search by Week." Find your current week and then keep on coming back to visit us. You won't regret it.
Your Baby:
Your Baby:
Your Baby:
Your Baby: