Blogging 101: How to Start a Blog, Find Readers and Achieve World Domination in 10 Easy Steps

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Published 07.25.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

Amy!

Oh.. wait.. I guess I shouldn't be so casual. I read your blog, so I feel like I know you really well, but im really just some random stranger who you most probably think is kind of stalkerish. But im not! so lets start again.

Good Morning,

I have a question to ask you, but it is not your usual advice smackdown question.

(You know what? screw this. Back to the friendly-I-know-you-to-well-but-you-probably-think-im-a-crazy-person speak)

So.. Amy.

This isn't actually a smackdown question, but I thought I would email this address as you probably check it daily. Yeah?

I am starting up a blog. I am usually to shy to bare all the gory details of my life, but I'm moving overseas soon. I thought it would be a good idea to document the highs and lows of the move and how I try to squish my life around this giant thing. But I need help! I have a blogger account, which is free (and that's fine for me to start off with) but how do I get people to come and read my blog? I'm not the kind of person that likes to go and blatantly advertise my life on other peoples accounts. I also only have two posts at the moment, so its not the most interesting thing in the world.

I noticed on your blog that you had comments into your second month. What did you do? I also would like to know the process of getting your own site. I know you use type pad and have probably brought your own domain name (ok.. starting to feel kind of stalkerish!) but how do you go about this? did you buy one right off the bat and decided this is what you wanted to do? or did you use a free one for a while to get used to the whole concept of blogging? Did you pay somebody to design the page (which looks great btw) or did you score a free makeover with a friend?

I would love any information you are willing to share, as you have excellent writing skills! (and I secretly want to be able to write like you do, and I also look up to you. But im not going to say this because I don't want your head to get as big as your belly :)

Kind Regards,
Ashlea

Well, so maybe you didn't mean it as a Smackdown question, but it's a question I get a lot, so...I've promoted it to Smackdown Worthy. (Your embossed certificate is in the mail.)

Let's break this down into two parts -- first, the logistics of getting your own domain and some general design advice, and then the much more complicated question of How To Get Eyeballs To Your Blog.

Back when I started blogging -- and lord, we didn't even call it blogging, we were ONLINE JOURNALING, yo -- I was inspired by a handful of journals I'd already found and read, all of which were hosted on their own domain and used Moveable Type. The sites were gorgeous and had great domain names and I decided that if I was going to start a site, I wanted my own domain and I wanted to be able to stay at that domain forever and not URL hop. I chose Typepad for exactly this reason: it was built around Moveable Type but saved you from having to host your blog or install any software, AND you could map domain names. (Meaning I could buy amalah.com and have it map and point to amalah.typepad.com, so no one would ever know the pain of typing ALL THOSE EXTRA LETTERS.) (Now you can do this with both Typepad and Wordpress.)

I'm not super-familiar with the latest version of Blogger, so I don't know how easy it is to move a Blogspot blog to your own domain later on. At the time, you essentially had to abandon your old blog, import everything and then leave a sad-little "I've moved!" entry at the top for all eternity at the old site. I imagine they've improved this -- anyone?

Now, when it comes to registering your own domain -- the #1 Most Important Thing I Will Ever Tell Anyone Ever is to pleeeeeeeeeease spring for a PRIVATE registration. It does cost extra, but it. Is. Essential. If you do not specifically sign up and pay for a private, third-party registration, your VERY PERSONAL INFO is available to ANYONE who does a WHOIS search on your domain name. Your full name, your home address, telephone -- anything you provided to the registrar when you bought the domain -- is added to the public, open and searchable WHOIS record for that URL. I use GoDaddy.com to manage my domains, and a private registration is a measly extra $9 a year. Treat yourself.

(Any blogger out there with their own domain who isn't sure if they did that private thing or not? Check here. If your address pops up as the owner, HIGHTAIL IT over to your registrar and find their private registration option.)

(One bit of secondary, not-as-important bit of advice -- before you register a domain or sign up for a hosting plan, pick your blogging platform, and find out what registrars/hosts make the whole domain mapping or install process easy for their users. Poke around FAQs and Tech Support sections in search of step-by-step instructions with screenshots, or talk to other bloggers and find out who they used.)

Now, when I started amalah.com, I didn't have the kickass design I've got now. I used a basic, ready-made template that Typepad offered. (A template that, bizarrely enough, was ALSO light green, pink and white. Hmmm.) I played around with the templates A LOT back then, figuring out how to change colors and fonts and upload my own masthead images. Whenever I got bored, I redesigned the site. I upgraded to the top tier Typepad account that let me really get in there and muck with the code, and while I am not a programmer by any means, I taught myself CSS and HTML and only seriously messed things up five or six times.

Eventually (this year, just shy of the site's fifth anniversary), I plunked down money for a professional design. (An insanely reasonable amount, I must add -- much less than I'd actually budgeted for.) I was tired of my own crappy graphic skills and my multiple amateur redesigns and code-monkeying had left me little choice but to blow the whole thing to hell and start over, and I figured I deserved to have it rebuilt right this time.

If you are planning to spring for a professional design, start with friends or friends of friends with sites you like. (You'll want to approach a designer with a handful of stuff you like to give them an idea of the aesthetic and layout you want.) Find out who designed their site, and if they did it themselves, ALWAYS offer to pay them for a makeover. If they are willing to do it for free, great, but it's a arduous, time-consuming process (plus if you think you're going to be picky and ask for a lot of tweaks, just realize that you're going to be a pain in their ass and they deserve to be compensated for putting up with you).

Okay. Now on to the REALLY important stuff, whether you've got your own domain or a humble Blogger account -- how the heck do you get people to read (and comment) at your blog?

One quick note here, about the comments you mentioned seeing on my old, ancient archives...I deleted a LOT of my early entries. Early, embarrassing, badly written, commentless entries. Poof!

The two most important weapons in a newbie's arsenal are: your blogroll and your comments. So your blog is about moving overseas? Find some expat blogs! Link to them. Use these links to get to their blog (instead of a RSS reader) so the referral will show up in their stats, and sooner or later some of them will click through and check you out, and possibly add you to THEIR blogroll. These don't have to be Big Popular Blogs -- you're more likely to get linked and noticed by smaller to medium-sized bloggers. (Oh, and please don't email blog writers and ask if it's okay if you link them on your blog. It is. Really. You don't have to ask. Conversely, never straight up ask that anyone link to you. That's considered rude.)

The same goes for comments. If you want comments, YOU MUST COMMENT. Don't think of it as "advertising" yourself -- think of it as participating in the community. Be it the expat community, the people-sort-of-around-your-age community, the fellow-cubicle-dweller-with-lots-of-time-to-dick-around-on-the-Internet community. Keep your comments witty but relevant. Avoid both the simple "Ha! I totally agree!" mindless comments AND the "Ha! I just wrote about this too! Here's the link!" annoying self-promotion comments.

When you get a comment, either click through to the commenter's blog and return the favor, or reply in some other way (i.e. via email or publicly in your comment section). I did this for YEARS, y'all, until my comment numbers crept up to a level that replying and reciprocating became a full-time job in and of itself.

I still try to publicly answer questions or clarify anything that's been misunderstood, but I can no longer reply personally to all my comments, just like I can't really link to everyone who links to me or, some days, even come close to answering all my email. It...can really suck, honestly, know that I can't be a super-great and accessible community member, but that's NOT to say that commenting on a popular blog means you'll automatically be ignored. I AM extremely familiar with most of my regular commenters -- at Blogher I immediately recognized a slew of them when they provided their Internet handle -- and if your comment makes me laugh (or cry), I will definitely click through to check your blog out. As will many of my other readers. I found a TON of blogs that I still read and am friends with the authors through their hilarious comments on other blogs.

It's a fine line with commenting -- you want to be genuine and thoughtful and not overtly self-promote-y, but...commenting IS a great way to show off your voice and writing and what you're all about beyond your own blog. Use it wisely.

And finally, it's tempting when you first start your blog and are unsure if you'll ever get any readers, to 1) tell lots of people in real life about the blog without making sure you're really okay with that, or 2) write about people in real life, assuming they'll never see it anyway. There can be problems with both scenarios. Perhaps you don't realize until too late that it's stifling to know your coworker or mom are reading and you can't write as freely as you'd like. Perhaps your coworker tells another coworker without asking you and ugh, you really didn't want THAT coworker to know about your blog.

And of course, no matter how anonymous you are or how few people you tell about your blog, DO NOT WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT ANYONE WITH THE ASSUMPTION THAT THEY WON'T ONE DAY FIND IT. Trust me, they will. And they will take it badly. Stay as anonymous as you want, but keep yourself accountable. Think before you hit publish and weigh the possibility of very hurt feelings or a damaged friendship against whatever satisfaction you'll get from that post going live.

Am I Allergic to Bare Minerals? Here's How to Tell.

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Published 07.24.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (16)

Amy,

I have been reading your blogs on and off for a lot of years now. Sometimes I get a little too addicted to the Internet and have to make myself stop for a while. But I always come back. :)

Anyway, I have a question. It's sort of time sensitive since it involves whether or not I am having a makeup reaction and should stop using it before my face falls off (but I know you receive zillions of e-mails and might not be able to respond right away--just thought it wouldn't hurt to try asking you). I just recently purchased the Bare Minerals starter kit because I wanted something very light and natural. Confession: I am mostly a makeup virgin. Ok, I have worn it before. I have some makeup that I break out for special occasions. But no one ever really taught me how to use it well, and I never felt like I needed it. Now, I still don't think I NEED it, but I have had makeup done on me (by salons, at Mary Kay parties, and so on), and I've seen how a nice, simple "routine" can make me look just a little fresher and feel just a little nicer. So I finally went to the Sephora store and got some goodies. But I digress. My point is that I'm new to being "serious" about all this stuff, and I want it to work. I know you recommend trying different things, but truthfully I don't really have the money or the inclination to experiment with a ton of different things. I just want to find something that works, you know?

So I got the Bare Minerals. The salesperson put it on me the day I bought it, and I liked it just fine. No problems. Then I started reading your site and saw that some people had had reactions to it. I didn't think much of it, but it was in the back of my mind, I guess. Yesterday I used the makeup, and toward the end of the day I noticed my left cheek was starting to look "brighter" than the right and my forehead was just a teeny bit weird-looking, sort of flushed but not really. About an hour later I washed my face and, sans makeup, noticed that both of my cheeks were very pink (my left more so than my right). Now, sometimes my cheeks do pink up a little, but I think this was different. They weren't really itchy or irritated, but I remembered the "negative reviews" and started to worry. This morning my face looks "normal," and I'm wondering whether I should keep trying the makeup. Was it just a fluke? Or am I setting myself up for a horribly irritated face if I keep going? I don't want to assume things based on one experience, especially because maybe it was influenced by the negative info I had read earlier, but I don't want to do bad things to my face, either. I couldn't find info about the reactions people have had (am I just a bad Googler?) to see if this sounds like a reaction.

Also, I had to drive an hour to find a Sephora store, so returning/exchanging will be a pain. And then what do I buy? Because I can't keep driving that far for makeup experiments. Please advise! Thank you.

(Oh, p.s. Skin care. Do you really need to do ALL the steps recommended--cleansing and toning and so on? I used to just cleanse and moisturize, but now they're trying to sell me all this other stuff. I am so incompetent with this stuff that I am feeling lost, not wanting to get "taken" for lots of dollars but wanting to get things that will really be good/necessary.)

-Gretchen

The important thing to remember about Bare Minerals -- or any of the loose-powder "mineral" makeup clones on the market now -- is that many of the "minerals" are actually finely finely ground metals and metal derivatives. Bismuth, iron oxides, titanium dioxide, stuff like that. Which is why, personally, I continue to be baffled as to how aggressively these kinds of makeups get marketed to people with sensitive skin. Sensitive skin types need to stick with foundations clearly labeled as hypo-allergenic, like Almay or Clinique. Mineral foundations are NOT hypo-allergenic, and I think the high number of reactions you hear about it simply because the stuff is being promoted and marketed to the wrong audience. (And don't even get me started on the "BareVitamins" moisturizer that comes bundled in the starter kits, which is mostly salicylic and glycolic acids, and I think that little fact should be made MUCH CLEARER for dry- or sensitive-skin users.)

I've never classified my skin as sensitive when it comes to cosmetics -- I'm classic combination, prone to an oily t-zone, blackheads and dry patches on my cheeks. I don't get many bona-fide zits anymore, but my complexion is FAR from even-toned, so I really do need a decent amount of help from my foundation in order to look even and fresh-faced. And while I've been happy with my liquid foundation (Sue Devitt's oil-free seaweed foundations -- which are 70% water, extremely gentle and light, never made me break out AND did a decent job of hiding my splotches without ever looking cakey), I admit that I finally just HAD to see what the fuss was all about with Bare Minerals and purchased the starter kits.

While my face has never been particularly sensitive, I DO have skin allergies -- although never from cosmetics! Think cheap jewelry. Nickel. Iron. Steel. And (this is weird) cold weather -- I have cold urticaria, which means I get hives and other reddish irritations from the wind or sudden cool-downs on the surface of my skin (so I also get hives when my own sweat hits my skin).

So really, it was probably dumb for someone like me to even try Bare Minerals, especially after getting SO MANY STORIES from readers who experienced less-than-awesome reactions to it. But the mineral makeup is very much love it or hate it. For people with ivory, pinkish or freckled complexions, switching from liquid to loose, multi-faceted foundation can be life-changing. I imagine it would be fabulous for young, 20-something skin that just wants a touch of tint without a lot of coating. Plus, its crazy popularity means I naturally get tons of questions about it, and I figured I needed to try it out first-hand.

So I did. Like you, the first day or two were fine, reaction-wise. Although I honestly didn't love the makeup -- I couldn't seem to apply it without spilling a fine coating of powder all over my bathroom counter, and I felt like I needed to use a LOT more than the video demos suggested. It felt kind of heavy on my face and settled into my fine lines and was really, really shiny by mid-day. If I applied less I could avoid the settling and the shine, but then I wasn't really getting the kind of coverage I wanted -- it was just like I'd used a pressed powder compact instead of real foundation, and that's a makeup move I haven't been able to get away with since high school. I also disliked what a MESS it always seemed to make, but that's mostly my fault, because I'm more of a "sweep everything haphazardly in a drawer" girl and I forget to GENTLY set the makeup upright somewhere, thus I always have fourteen tons of excess on top of the sifter that poofs all over the place when I open it.

After a couple days I felt like I'd achieved more of a middle ground with the application (using a foundation primer first helped with the shine/slipping into wrinkles thing quite a bit), but...by this point I could no longer ignore the fact that my skin was ANGRY. I started noticing red patches on my cheeks and forehead, and my face had this vague itchy feeling a lot of the time. When I removed the makeup at night, I would get hives.

And then the really disturbing thing happened -- the skin on my fingers started to crack and peel off in chunks. This is my cheap-jewelry allergy, which I first noticed in high school. Kind of like a form of contact dermatitis, with a weird eczema-like twist. I once got the specific kind of allergy/eczema diagnosed from a dermatologist, but I can't really remember it anymore. Not that it matters -- there isn't much to do about it except avoid triggers, wash and moisturize my hands religiously, and apply topical cortisone cream when it gets really vicious.

And this reaction was indeed vicious. My fingers swelled, cracked, flaked and bled. I stopped using Bare Minerals and within three or four days my hands cleared up. A little more timid experimentation revealed that the Mineral Veil powder was the primary source of the reaction and responsible for the itchy feeling and hives on my face. I could use the other powders occasionally just fine, but if I wore it for several days in a row I'd pay for it with cracked finger skin for sure. (Weirdly, I could use the eye makeup without any problems -- although I really only use it as eyeliner now, so we're talking very small quantities.)

The redness and itchy feeling are probably the most common reactions I've heard from readers -- some seem to get better after awhile, while others' reactions get worse with regular use like mine did. It does sound like you had a mild reaction to the makeup, but no, I wouldn't chuck the whole kit out based on one flare-up, which could realistically been caused by something else and was just a coincidence. Try using the makeup without the Mineral Veil (a "finishing powder," which seemed to be just your average translucent loose powder to me, nothing special), or try applying a little less. And WASH THE BRUSHES.

If, however, you've had allergies to cheap metal jewelry in the past, or are prone to hives or other serious allergic reactions (think respiratory epi-pen type things), stop using it. Not worth it. Contact Sephora's online customer service or Bare Minerals directly to see if you can arrange a return.

Since the Bare Minerals fiasco, I've tried a few other light foundation alternatives with some success. (The pregnancy "glow" has temporarily evened my skin tone out so I don't need quite so much coverage.)

First up, Philosophy's Supernatural mineral makeup. I originally planned on doing a head-to-head comparison of a bunch of different mineral makeups, but obviously nixed that idea fairly quickly. But I'd already purchased this one. Which, at first glance, is very similar to Bare Minerals. (Zinc, bismuth, iron oxides, etc.) So I was very hesitant to try it. I don't know if it's a different formulation or what, but I did not have AS strong a reaction to this stuff. I can't use it everyday (the finger thing happens), but I think the packaging prevents you from using as much as the swirl-tap-buff application of the other mineral makeups. That said, this AIN'T for girls who want full coverage. If you want to really use this as an honest-to-God foundation, you'll need to disassemble the spongey top and go in there with a foundation brush. (The spongey top also needs regular washing, which is annoying, but it gets gross and clogged if you don't.) I like the built-in SPF and the lack of mess (you can TRAVEL with it! no little sifters to remove or tape over!), and would recommend this for anyone looking for VERY light coverage, especially if you already use mineral makeup but are looking to speed up your morning application routine.

And then there's also Benefit's Some Kind-A Gorgeous, which is...well. I'm not sure what it is. It's a foundation faker. At first glance, it looks like stage greasepaint makeup, but it's actually oil-free and feels like a powder once you've put it on your face. It's only available in two shades (light and dark, take your pick), but is very sheer and natural-looking that I'd put this in the "plus" column, especially if you're the type who gets intimidated when trying to pick the right shade of makeup from dozens of slightly-different bottles. It also makes a great eyelid base.

For anyone looking for a really good really real foundation, let me repeat (for what feels like the zillionth time) that Sue Devitt's seaweed gel foundation is fantastic. It's not like other liquid foundations at all -- super light, won't clog your pores, easy to remove and the whipped gel-like texture makes application (whether you use a brush or just your fingers) a total snap. There are two variations on this foundation -- the stuff in a tall pump and the stuff in the small tub. The pump is the lighter option, while the tub offers fuller coverage. Infuriatingly, Sephora has stopped offering the brand in stores and online, but it is available many other places, from QVC.com to Amazon.

The Perfect Postpartum Wardobe

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Published 07.17.2008 | Permanent Link | Comments (21)

Hey Amalah/Amy;

I'm a new reader, but enjoying your sass/honesty/poop jokes tremendously. Here's my question: I'm 32 wks pregnant with my first baby (stretch marks already, what's up with that? but not my question). But I am looking for what cute but comfy clothes to wear in the hospital and the first few days at home that I can sleep in, wake up in, look adorable in, and nurse in, all while in the messy postpartum experience. Because people want to VISIT and see the BABY, but my understanding is that I will be attached to said baby during much of that early time, so I'd like to feel, well, not too horribly ugly and unpresentable. (We will limit visitors, but I work in the hospital where I'm delivering, so some socializing is actually unavoidable, and frankly, nice to see some of my very close work friends.)

There are very few pajama options out there - I was thinking more of a cute pants/top idea than a nightgown/robe option, the better to look almost like I got it together to get dressed. Are pants a bad idea given bleeding etc of postpartum? Of note, I was on the 12-14ish size before pregnancy, and although have only gained about 12 pounds thus far, I'm a L-XL in most maternity clothes.

I know there's lots of time, but this is what I'm obsessing about today - any ideas?

- Pregnant in Boston

Welcome, new reader! Allow me to crush a couple of your hopes and dreams before getting to the recommendations portion of this column.

1) Don't pack your own clothes for the hospital. Seriously, do not bother, unless you have nightgowns you are willing to toss in the trash before you leave. Yes, I know, every book and list out there recommends bringing your own gowns and PJs and comfortable underwear and in theory, that sounds very nice and comfy and home-away-from-home-ish. But then visit the maternity ward and notice that everybody is wearing the standard-issue hospital gowns (although probably with their own slippers and robes).

You will bleed and ruin anything you bring, pretty much. (I even had to toss my slippers and socks.) (Sorry in advance for the massive oversharing going on in this column.) So why ruin YOUR stuff, especially expensive maternity/nursing stuff? I remember hearing stories about the giant disposable granny panties the hospital provides and dutifully packed my own underwear, but after my first trip to the bathroom I told my husband to just take that stuff home, dear GOD, and fully embraced the mesh things and even swiped several pairs to wear at home -- all to buy myself as much time as possible for the bleeding to slow before donning my own stuff.

YOU MUST wear gowns in the hospital, since you're regularly being checked and examined down there, and while the hospital gowns aren't the cutest things in the world, they are comfortable and convenient, with openings for nursing that still manage to mostly maintain your modesty for visitors. (And no, they aren't open down the back like other hospital garb -- you pull them over your head.) I personally bled on several, and it was nice to simply ring the nurse for a change and disposal instead of rooting through my bag and then sending my husband home with a bag of soiled nightgowns to deal with.

So...bring a robe if you'd like to feel a little more covered up, but trust me, NO ONE is going to visit you and then cluck their tongues about how the woman who just gave birth is wearing a HOSPITAL GOWN, like, can you BELIEVE how she's let herself go since having that baby nine whole hours ago? God.

2) Immediately postpartum, maternity clothes are your best and most comfortable bet. Which is why so many maternity tops closely resemble nursing tops with the stretchy, crossover boob style. As a first-time birther, I will admit that my expectations for my body's recovery time were HYSTERICALLY out of whack. I really expected my stomach to deflate during my hospital stay and I'd be back in cute little yoga pants by the week's end. Too many trashy gossip rags, I guess.

So I was frankly, shocked by how pregnant I still looked for a long time afterwards, and that maternity pants mostly remained my only option. But looking back, I wish I hadn't fought it so much -- oh, the memories of squishing myself into JEANS for NO APPARENT REASON -- since the number-one rule for dressing "cute" is to WEAR STUFF THAT FITS, and if that means hanging on to the elastic belly panel in order to avoid the Worst Muffin Top Of Your Life, so be it.

This doesn't mean building up a nursing wardrobe is a bad idea. If you don't own some maternity stretch pants or leggings, go ahead and get some now for maximum wearing time. If you decide to buy more tops, look for the empire waist style in stretchy knits that allow for easy pulling down around the boobs. But for the timeframe you mentioned -- the first few days at home -- just plan on culling any cute, pulled-together outfits from your current maternity wardrobe.

As far as true "nursing wear" goes, to finally get to what you were asking about, I am huge fan of Aimee Nursing Gowns. Their styles offer pretty much everything you can ask for in nursing lounge-y clothes: super-soft fabrics, a ton of stretch and a lot of support around the boobs (i.e. you don't have to layer a nursing bra underneath, and they'll hold a nursing pad in place). I only had a gown last time (still do! still wear it! holds up to a zillion washings wonderfully!) but can't WAIT to get some tops and lounge pants this go-round. (Hint! Wow! What great gifts they make for pregnant ladies!) I put my gown on within an hour of getting home from the hospital, climbed into bed with the baby and probably changed out of it two days later or so.

Speaking of pants and whether they're a good idea or not...eh, it depends. With a c-section, nightgowns were my best bet, even though I'm not particularly a nightgown person. But it was about a week before any sort of waistband -- maternity or not -- were really comfortable. The bleeding (lochia) settled down after a few days -- I think there were only two or three days at home (although my section meant a longer hospital stay) where I was using the hospital-issued ginormopads and changing them constantly, and then after that it was very much your run-of-the-mill period-type bleeding. If you can get to the bathroom occasionally and have no reason why pulling pants up and down would be painful, then pants are just fine postpartum.

(Of course, lochia can be different for every woman -- some women get it for two weeks, tops; others bleed for six full weeks. I bled for about four. And the heaviness of the flow can vary wildly.)

The most important thing is to be COMFORTABLE. Way more important than appearing pulled-together and impressive to visitors who really only have eyes for your newborn. Think stretchy knits, supportive bras and tops, easy boob access. For visitors you aren't comfortable nursing in front of, get a nursing cover. And of course, lots of slimming black.

Hear what Liz Lange has to say about dressing for your "Fourth Trimester":

- Breastfeeding Mom Essentials

- Dressing for the "4th Trimester": Tips #1

- Dressing for the "4th Trimester": Tips #2

- Postpartum Dressing: Mistakes to Avoid

- Dressing for a New Mom's Night Out

Don't forget to visit Amalah's weekly pregnancy calendar, Zero to Forty.